Your Non-Sarah Palin News

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In case you spent last night reveling in the absolutely adorable cuteness that was one of the oddly-named Palin girls (Bristol? Piper? Phoenix? We can’t tell them apart!) girls licking her hand to pat down a tuft of hair on the head of little baby Trig, some other, less-important stuff also happened! Here’s a quick rundown of what you might have missed on such important matters as David Duchovny‘s sex life:

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