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Meet Track Palin, Drug Addict

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The National Enquirer‘s reporters are having a field day up in the Alaskan wilderness. Their latest scoop: young Track Palin, foisted upon the American public as a war hero during the RNC, is actually an Oxycontin-snorting, womanizing, kleptomaniac!

The story would have more heft had the Enquirer not squandered some of the capital they earned from their Edwards coup by claiming last week that Palin slept with her husband’s business partner, but the quotes this time (anonymous, of course) are still pretty great. According to some of Palin’s high school buddies:

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