WHICH hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex’s apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital – and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut . . .

We’ve been wracking our brains trying to figure it out; my guess was Get Smart‘s Alan Arkin, but I was immediately shouted down by everyone else. Anyway, popular website ohnotheydidn’t has suggested a different candidate: Will Smith.