The Trump International Hotel and Tower, a project allegedly managed by The Apprentice season one winner Bill Rancic, has opened in Chicago! (Mostly—it’s open, but they’re still building the top 32 stories. Frightening! Also: Why “International”? Can you see Canada from the top?) To mark this momentous occasion, this moment when our own Donald Trump exports all his class and dignity to America’s at-least-fifth-greatest city, a Chicago Tribune reporter is live-blogging his stay. It is every bit as thrilling as you might imagine.