Space Crisis! No Turnips On Mars Tomorrow!


This afternoon, NASA will hold a press conference about Mars, which is a nearby planet. Their newest findings from the surface, they’ll announce… are rocket fuel. HANDY! NASA claims that the newly-found perchlorate is naturally-occurring, not detritus from, you know, their own rockets. (The Mars lander’s rockets allegedly used hydrazine.) This gives America’s science writers a chance to do their best work!

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