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Memo to Heather Mills: No Parkin’ on the Dance Floor

Fab floor: It was only a matter of time until Heather Mills tasted the pain (carnage at :33).

Orphan mafia: Madonna gets herself a new security detail to fight off the photogs—rock-wielding Malawian orphans.

Son of a mill worker?: Dreamy Dem John Edwards drops $400 a haircut and $250 per facial treatment.

Primate primacy: A new study shows that chimp DNA is more evolved than human’s. That would explain this.

Rich people get richer: The number of American households worth $5 million-plus reaches one million.

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