EXCLUSIVE: Michelle Obama Issues Advice on How She SAVED Her Marriage – After Former First Lady and Barack Were Rocked by Savage 'Blockbuster Divorce' Rumors

Former First Lady Michelle Obama is known to speak openly and honestly about the challenges of her marriage to the 44th president, Barack Obama, and has now shared her secrets for marital bliss, RadarOnline.com can reveal.

She's not afraid to admit marriage can be hard work – and in fact she once joked that there were times she "wanted to push Barack out of the window."

Michelle, now 61, admitted their loving relationship was sometimes very rocky as the couple juggled the demands of high-profile careers, parenthood, and two terms in the White House.

"Marriage is a choice you make every day," explained Michelle. "You don't do it because it's easy. You do it because you believe in it. You believe in the other person."

"That's why it's so important to marry somebody that you respect. It's important to marry somebody who is your equal, and to marry somebody and to be with somebody who wants you to win as much as you want them to win."

An accomplished lawyer, Michelle may have been on equal footing with her ambitious hubby when they wed. But as Barack's political star rose, she found herself taking on most of the childcare duties for their young family.

Their daughters – Malia, 26, and Sasha, 23 – are now grown, but Michelle recalled of her early days as a mom: "I was mad. When you get married and have kids, your whole plan, once again, gets upended. Especially if you get married to somebody who has a career that swallows up everything, which is what politics is."

During the White House years, she and Barack carved out private family time away from cameras. They famously insisted on 6:30 p.m. family dinners and regular date nights to keep their bond strong and their kids' lives as normal as possible.

Michelle urged women to stop worrying about "What will people think?" and to prioritize their own happiness. She stressed even great marriages hit "major rough patches" and need work to pull back from the brink of disaster, saying: "Marriage is hard. It's a struggle."

When the couple's problems came to a head, Michelle steered them into marriage counseling and credits it with saving their relationship.

At first, she admitted she went in thinking she was right and that therapy's role was to "fix" Barack, saying: "I was one of those wives who thought, 'I'm taking you to marriage counseling so you can be fixed, Barack Obama,'" she laughed. "Because I was like, 'I'm perfect.' I was like, 'Doctor X, please fix him.'"

To her surprise, counseling quickly turned the mirror back on her.

"He started looking over at me (in the sessions.) I was like, 'Why are you talking to me?... He's the problem,'" she said.

But she realized she had her own faults, and therapy humbled her in the best way.

"It taught me to take control of my own happiness within our marriage, instead of expecting Barack to magically change everything," she added. "Counseling helped me to look at, 'How do I take care of myself in our partnership?' But it's hard. It’s hard to blend two lives together. It's hard for us too, but I wouldn't trade it.

"The beauty of my husband and our partnership is that neither one of us was ever going to quit at it 'cause that's not who we are."

Those White House years were trying – so much so Michelle joked people thought she was being "catty" for admitting it.

But she's unashamed about their "long stretches of discomfort" because they ultimately came out stronger, saying: "You've got to know that there are going to be times, long periods of time – maybe years – when you can't stand each other, and that's normal. It doesn't mean you married the wrong person, it means you’re two humans trying to build a life together."

She warns many couples give up too quickly after the honeymoon phase ends, failing to realize the ups and downs are normal, adding: "Yes, there may be times when you can't stand each other' but that doesn't mean you quit.'

"If that breaks a marriage, then Barack and I have been broken off and on… but we have a very strong marriage."

Michelle gives Barack credit for staying committed and strong, saying: "My husband is my teammate. If we are going to win this game together, he has to be strong and he has to be OK with me being strong."

Barack also admitted the strain of the presidency put their relationship through the wringer. After eight years in office he admitted: "I was in a deep deficit with my wife" – and added he's been trying to "dig (him(self out of that hole" ever since.

When it comes to keeping a marriage happy and strong Michelle advises: "Continue to be friends. The love is always there, but it’s the friendship that gets you through the tough times."