Five months after Julia Roberts' half-sister died, Nancy Motes' suicide note has surfaced, revealing the troubled 37-year-old blamed her mother and "so-called siblings" for the deep depression that caused her to take her own life.
"My mother & so called 'siblings' get nothing except the memory that they are the ones that drove me into the deepest depression I've ever been in," Motes wrote in her emotional last words.
"If anything should happen to me, John Bailey Dilbeck gets whatever he wants of my possessions & ownership of Lucy."
Bashing Roberts even in her final moments, Motes wrote that the actress' abuse was so bad that "I burst into tears b/c I woke up."
Motes — a former production assistant on the hit FOX show Glee — was found dead on Feb. 9 after drowning in her bathtub following a deadly mixture of nonprescription and prescription pills.
Roberts' deceased half-sister wrote the note in three sections; one to Roberts and Betty, one to Dilbeck and one addressed to "everyone."
Dilbeck turned over his portion of the note in court papers filed regarding Motes' estate, but Betty and Roberts have chosen not to add theirs so they remain private.
Under California law the Los Angeles County Coroner only has to give portions of the suicide note to those addressed.
Motes calls herself "nothing but a junky" in the message to Dilbeck, stating he "really will be better off w/out me."
"I know this will effect you the most and & I can't apologize enough. I was truly blessed & lucky to have you as my true love and best friend. I will carry you with me forever," she wrote.
"And I am so sorry."
As Radar exclusively reported, Roberts, 46, and Betty, 79, attended a secret funeral to bury Motes in Georgia, one in which many of those close to Motes were not invited to grieve alongside the famous family — including her fiancé, Dilbeck.
“It really hurts,” Dilbeck told Radar. “I was very frustrated and hurt by it. I needed to voice being hurt, because Nancy’s voice is being silenced.”
If anyone you know, is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please immediately seek help. You can speak with a skilled, trained counselor at a national Suicide Prevention Lifeline crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7 — call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).