EXCLUSIVE: Melinda Gates Reveals 'Voice in Her Head' Told Her to Leave Bill Gates — 'It Said This Isn't Right Anymore'
Melinda Gates opened up about the moments before she decided to divorce Bill Gates in her new book.
April 15 2025, Published 7:15 p.m. ET
The "subconscious whispers" in Melissa Gates' head told her it was time to pull the plug on her marriage to Bill.
In her new book, The Next Day, the philanthropist reveals the pivotal moments in 2019 that led to her split from the Microsoft mogul after 25 years — including symbolic dreams and a persistent "echo" urging her to walk away, RadarOnline.com can reveal.
The philanthropist revealed a loud voice in her head told her it was time to end her relationship with the Microsoft mogul.
Melinda, 60, lifts the veil on her marriage to Bill, 69, in her new gut-wrenching tell-all – first revealing she had been "having the same nightmare for weeks" just two years before the pair finalized their split in 2021.
The exes, who met working at Microsoft in 1987, welcomed three kids during their 27-year marriage: daughter Jennifer, 28, son Rory, 25, and daughter Phoebe, 22.
Melinda said she would have metaphorical dreams telling her it was time for a change.
Recalling the recurring dream she would have, Melinda wrote: "In the beginning, I'd be standing in a house, a beautiful house. Then I’d realize that it was falling apart, its foundation hollowed out, eroded away by the ocean.
"The floor beneath me would start caving in. Night after night, I woke up panicked. I’d lie there heaving, reminding myself to take deep breaths."
Melinda knew she "didn't need Sigmund Freud" to tell her what the dreams were about, as she quickly knew they related to her dwindling marriage to Bill – especially after news of his infidelity made waves.
She continued: "If anything, the metaphor was a bit obvious. Bill has publicly acknowledged that he wasn’t always faithful to me while we were married.
"That October, things had reached a fever pitch when The New York Times published a deeply disturbing article that raised serious questions about Bill’s conduct – questions that suggested he had betrayed not only our marriage but also my values."
Despite the odds, the businesswoman said she wanted to work on her marriage for the sake of their family.
She admitted: "There had been other difficult periods in our relationship, other moments when it felt like things could have fallen apart.
"But we loved each other, and we loved the family we’d built together, so every time cracks appeared in our union, we'd found ways to patch them up."
The philanthropist also said she suffered from "Catholic guilt" and always felt pressure from family to have a successful marriage.
But in the last few weeks of 2019, Melinda said the dreams got more drastic – and felt like they were trying to "signal" something to her.
One dream, in particular, had her and her family standing on the side of a crumbling cliff.
Melinda said she tried to mend her relationship with Bill in 2020, but her subconscious always told her to walk away.
She recalled: "I dreamed we were all standing on a cliff – me, Bill, the kids – when the ledge I was standing on cracked off, and I plummeted away from my family.
"Even after my eyes flashed open, the fear and loneliness lingered. As dramatic as it sounds, I knew, in that moment, that I was going to have to make a decision – and that I was going to have to make it by myself."
Soon after, Melinda said she "started to hear a whisper at the edge of her consciousness," further detailing it as "the barest echo of a voice."
As the voice spoke with "gentle authority," Melinda said it shared a harrowing message about her marriage: "This isn't right anymore."
She wrote: "That was, to be honest, a terrifying thing to contemplate. And so at first, I tried to push the whisper away.
"I distracted myself with a long work trip and a visit to my daughter Phoebe, who was doing a semester abroad in South Africa.
"I threw myself into the winter holidays. At the end of the holidays, I called my best friend from high school, Mary Lehman, and begged her to get on a plane. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts. I needed to talk."
Melinda added: "Trying to ignore the whisper hadn’t worked. It just grew louder and more insistent. It wasn’t unkind. It wasn't demanding. It was just … there, all the time, repeating the same message over and over."
Coming to the "end of her wits," she decided if she couldn’t turn away from the voice, she would fully turn toward it instead.
While Melinda planned a solo retreat to New Mexico, she decided to bring Bill along in an attempt to save their marriage.
There, however, the voice was amplified even more.
She wrote: "At first, Bill and I tried to treat it like any other vacation. We hiked. We had dinner together. But I also made sure to intentionally set aside time for the quiet reflection I had originally planned on doing.
"And one night, while I was sitting downstairs by myself with a pen and my journal, I realized with a start that I knew why I’d come to New Mexico.
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The exes, who met working at Microsoft, still see each other from time to time and have remained friendly.
"My inner voice began to speak again, and this time its words were firm and conclusive: It's time to separate yourself from Bill."
Elsewhere in The Next Day, Melinda dove into the process of going through divorce with the billionaire – recalling the difficulties of telling her family and the CEO of their Gates Foundation.
On May 3, 2021, the two released a joint statement: "After a great deal of thought and work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our marriage,” we wrote, asking for space and privacy for our family."
Despite their split, Melinda revealed she and Bill still remain "friendly" and occasionally cross paths.
