Duane ‘The Dog‘ Chapman Spending Christmas All ‘Alone' After Beth’s Death: It's 'Sad'
Dec. 20 2019, Updated 3:29 p.m. ET
Duane "The Dog" Chapman is spending Christmas alone, for the first time after the tragic death of his beloved wife, Beth Chapman. In an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com, the reality star opened up about the struggles he’s faced when trying to get his whole family together for the holidays.
"I will be glad when this year over," Duane, 66, told RadarOnline.com in a phone interview from his Colorado home. "I'm trying to hold the holiday traditions. Beth was very traditionalcomma and I want to hold those traditions as we did when Beth was here."
He explained that when Beth was alive, “it was mandatory” for all their kids to come home for Christmas, but this year, “that’s not going to happen.”
"Beth was the punisher in the family and they know their dad is a softy," he explained. "So, a lot of the kids aren't coming this year. They're like 'Dad, we are going to do our own thing.' I'm like 'Okay, whatever.' So that's a little sad. I'll mostly be alone."
The star now spends most of his days focusing on his new show, Dogs Most Wanted, to distract himself from the loss of his wife, who died on June 26, 2019, after a long battle with cancer.
"I'm really depending on Season 2 after the holidays. I'm hoping for the best. I was looking at mugshots and talking to the mugshots and saying you know 'You better enjoy your freedom right now because I'm going to tell you somethingcomma wait until you get a load of Dog without Beth,'" Duane said, choking up.
"So catching the bad guys kind of keeps my mind off of stuff. But I feel like doing something worthy in life to keep going. I feel kind of empty without putting some of them really bad bastards in jail," he continued.
Duane revealed that he used to get "so upset" waking up every morning without his wife by his side, but one interaction with a fan at a store made him get a new perspective on life.
"She hugged me and goes 'I thought you were dead.' And she said, 'Please don't die, we need you, Dog.'"
Earlier this year, rumors surfaced that Duane had taken his own life, but the star wants everyone to know he is not suicidal.
"I'm doing much better. Dr. Oz saved my life. I'm almost less than a pack of cigarettes a day in the last of couple of weeks,” he said, adding that his New Year’s resolution will be “to not touch another cigarette."
Duane said he is trying to take care of himself and puts more heart into his workouts to appease Beth. Still, he is reminded of his heartbreak every day.
"I lived with her for 22 years. The 26th, the day after Christmas, will be six months since she left me. And I think the worst part out of all of this is that I can't believe it's six months. How the hell did I make it?" He sobbed.
"Allegedly time heals all wounds, but if I start thinking about it, then I go back to the original. I used to think for sure there is a heaven. I'm not sure anymore. If there was, Beth would talk to God to letting her come back for just a minute," Duane said. "And so I know there is a God for sure. But I don't know about heaven. I hope to God there is and I can see her again. I'm going through that right now."
"I'm very lonely," the emotional star admitted.
As RadarOnline.com readers know, Beth was diagnosed with stage 2 throat cancer in September 2017. She initially went into remission, but the disease later spread to her lungs, resulting in a stage 4 diagnosis. On June 22, while filming their new show, Dog's Most Wanted, she was hospitalized and placed in a medically-induced coma. She died four days later from complications at the age of 51.
Doug said goodbye to his beloved in a beautiful Hawaiian memorial service, and later, in a Colorado funeral, surrounded by their family.