'I Wanted To Be Dead': Hilaria Baldwin 'Started To Call Herself Stupid' After The Fake Accent Controversy Left Her Feeling 'Confused and Lost'
Hilaria Baldwin admitted she went through some tough times following the scandal.
May 2 2025, Published 5:50 p.m. ET
Hilaria Baldwin has opened up about the struggles she went through after the fake accent controversy.
RadarOnline.com can reveal the wife of actor Alec Baldwin "wanted to be dead" amid all of the backlash in 2020, but luckily she had the support of her husband.
The wife of actor Alec Baldwin 'wanted to be dead' amid all of the backlash in 2020.
In her new book, Manual Not Included, Baldwin opened up about the "hard-earned insights she’s gained from her experiences as an individual, a partner and a parent."
Back in 2020, Baldwin faced a brutal wave of backlash after her accent led to criticism when people started to question the authenticity of her Spanish origins.
She wrote, according to an excerpt from People: "At that point, I had not discussed any of this publicly. I just existed in a land where sometimes I spoke one language and sometimes I spoke another, sometimes I mixed them and got mixed up, and I never talked about my processing differences. I just tried to be 'normal.'
Baldwin continued: "Now I know that it’s ridiculous that anyone would feel outraged or amused because someone forgot a word. Can you be honest right now, reading this: Have you ever forgotten a word? But back then, I started to really unravel. I was confused. I felt lost. I missed my family. I couldn’t eat. I got very thin.
"I started to question my sanity. I started to question if I was a good person. I returned to what I used to do as a child, and started to call myself stupid. When I woke up, I wanted to be dead. And I got worse and worse and worse."
The reality TV star revealed Alec would 'hold' her close at night.
The mother-of-seven, wellness expert and star of TLC's The Baldwins gave credit to her very famous husband for helping her through the toughest of times.
She penned: "Alec was so good to me throughout this time. He had experienced similar situations: people saying awful things about him, trying to destroy him, and making others think he was a bad person. He could reach out from a place of real empathy and personal experience.
"In the middle of the night, I’d wake up and remember what was happening to me. And he was always there. He’d know I was awake, and he would hold me close and say, 'You’re not alone. I’m here and I love you. And you can cry, because I know how much it hurts. It’s so awful, but just know what they’re saying is not true.'"
This isn't the first time Baldwin opened up about her accent and the backlash she got over it.
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This isn't the first time Baldwin has opened up about her accent and the backlash she received over it.
In one of the episodes of her TLC reality show, The Baldwins, she explained she was raised bilingual.
The mother continued: "When I mix the two it doesn’t make me inauthentic, and when I mix the two, that makes me normal. I’d be lying if I said [the controversy] didn’t make me sad, and it didn’t hurt, and it didn’t put me in dark places.”
