Elle Macpherson, 60, Exposes Ugly Truth Of Her Secret Alcoholism Battle After Admitting Downing Vodka and Vomiting Was 'Function of Life'
Elle Macpherson detailed her battle with alcoholism in her new memoir, 'elle: Life, Lessons & Learning to Trust Yourself.'
Nov. 20 2024, Published 6:00 p.m. ET
Elle Macpherson has opened up about the ugly truth of her secret battle with alcoholism.
RadarOnline.com can reveal the supermodel confessed routinely vomiting from drinking so much vodka, which eventually became a "function" of her every day life.
Macpherson, 60, detailed hitting rock bottom and her journey to sobriety in her memoir, elle: Life, Lessons & Learning to Trust Yourself.
The model said 'on the outside' she was doing a 'beautiful job' but inside she was 'really struggling'.
In her memoir, the 60-year-old candidly reflected on how drastically her public image differed from her personal life, writing: "My life looked amazing to everybody. On the outside I was doing a beautiful job but, deep down inside, I was really struggling."
Macpherson revealed the thought of drinking continued to consume her after she gave birth to her youngest son, Cy, now 21.
Even as she held her newborn, the model admitted all she "could think about was that bottle of champagne in the ice bucket" that was gifted to her.
She further confessed to regularly drinking to the point of blacking out, including taking "shots of vodka" by herself after putting Cy, and his older brother, Flynn, now 26, to bed.
Macpherson admitted she would take 'shots of vodka' by herself after putting her sons to bed.
She wrote: "Often I would drink after I put my children to bed. I would sit down by myself and have shots of vodka and then I'd write to-do lists and letters to my family.
"I would do he housework, listen to music until around 11 p.m., then go to bed and pass out.
"I would get up in the morning, run six miles and have a coffee for breakfast... I would sick my fingers down my throat and make sure I vomited three times before I went to sleep."
Machperson added: "It was always three times."
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Macpherson said she wanted to prove to ex Arpad Busson she could be 'his partner in fun and business' while also raising their two sons.
Vodka continued to dominate Macpherson's life as she navigated motherhood and her relationship with French financier Arpad 'Arki' Busson, who traveled frequently for work.
The model wrote: "I loved spending time with Arki and … I wanted to prove to him I would be his partner in fun and business while being the mother of his sons.
"I would go out and drink, party and become sick again. It became a constant repeat: I was in a horrible downward spiral."
Part of her "horrible downward spiral" included frequent black-outs.
She recalled: "I would be talking to somebody and then I would forget what I was saying. They would look at my quizzically as if waiting for me to continue."
The 60-year-old said her binge drinking and purging was an attempt to 'control the outside world' and 'feel at peace inside'.
While her shocking memoir exposed her alcoholism to fans, Macpherson said she didn't necessarily keep her heavy drinking a secret.
During a recent appearance on the Carrie and Tommy radio show to discuss her book, the model said: "I didn't keep it hidden, it was just a function of my life."
She added the act of drinking and purging to rid the alcohol from her body was her attempt to "control the outside world so I would feel at peace inside."
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