Emily Maynard reveals she suffered from such severe feelings of insecurity and loneliness as a teen that she nearly killed herself as a result.
"I never really wanted to end things. I was screaming for help and I did it in the extreme way," Maynard, who overdosed on prescription pills when she was 16, told People. "It makes me sad to think about. I didn't have hope in anything."
Maynard, who grew up in West Virginia, revealed that she was having a tough time adjusting to a new boarding school in Boca Raton, Fla.
"I was so focused on this part of my heart that was empty that I couldn't see beyond where I was then," she explained.
During that brutal period of her life, Maynard's mental state was so fragile that she was forced to stay in a psych ward twice in six months, including after her suicide attempt.
As RadarOnline.com reported, Maynard also had a tough time finding lasting love as a contestant on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.
Maynard first fell hard for Brad Womack on The Bachelor in 2011. "Brad has a kind heart," she noted. "He could make somebody really happy. It just wasn't meant to be for us."
And her relationship with her now ex-fiancé Jef Holm from 2012's The Bachelorette ended just as badly. "We had fun together. I thought we were on the same page, but it just didn't work out," she said.
"I wanted that love so bad," added Maynard. "I felt there was something wrong with me if I couldn't make it work—again.
Today, 30-year-old Maynard has been married to her husband Tyler Johnson since 2014, and the two are raising their son Jennings, 7 months, and Ricki, her 11-year-old daughter with her late Nascar driver boyfriend Ricky Hendrick, who tragically died in a plane crash in 2004.
Despite her life heading in a positive direction, Maynard admitted she sometimes still has a hard time coping. "As great as things are now, it's been a struggle for me internally, dealing with fulfillment, looking for my purpose and wondering where I fit in," she said.
Maynard's new book, I Said Yes, comes out on March 1.