WARNING: Story Contains Crude Content
"I hate Octo-Mom: Her vagina is like the log ride at Disneyland," Joan said. "It opens up and a thousand wet, screaming kids come flowing out!" the celebrity-bashin' 79-year-old said.
And if you thought that was harsh...
"Christina Aguilera, we mentioned that she was fat -- I think the joke was, 'Cows tip her,'" Joan joked. "So, I'm at Spago's with Melissa, we're eating dinner and fatso is along the way, she comes lumbering over to my table with that no-neck look, she comes over and says, 'You gonna finish that?'"
Joan didn't even spare herself from the razzing: Asked about her her new book -- titled I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me -- Joan joked, "I should have called it 50 Shades Of Grey -- or, after my legs, 48 shades of blue!"
I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me is in stores now.