VIDEO: Charlie Sheen Lets Rip At Two And A Half Men Bosses -- Watch & Read The Entire Crazy Rant Here

"Good evening.  What occurred yesterday was completely and entirely illegal," he started out.  "Unconscionable.  And to quote my lawyer really shi**y, shi**y, suck suck.

"The decision to choose the enemy is generally thought of as quote 'a chaotic and random event fueled by the circumstance of injustice but paralleled by the finite rate of purpose' end quote.

"Now that I have your lazy f***ing attention world, sit back and rejoice.  For the Malibu Messiah,  the Condor of Calabasas, the f***ing warlock of the jealous face that is before you.

"Undigested hummus trading real estate for this fire dance.

"I beg you all to stay glued for this raving wise, Gibson shredding napalm poet before you. Alone and unshackeld as the despreate cries of the  soon forgotten echo freely in my lair.

"Beware I told all, yet but beware clearly I told no one. Oh how they once begged to attend my perfect banquet in the nude, now they just beg for the keys to my gold."

"You gave me your word so in turn you gave me nothing. It must really suck being your mrs.

"The promise of getting something yet receiving nothing.  In-vitro aside, all shiny pool boys rejoice and line block around your house. Sizzle, losing, bye.

"Number 2 Peter Roth - Who I will not call sloth.  I'll spare you this revelatory of pure expose as your heart was always rooted in fairness and heartbound and good tidings.

"Trust not your evil over lords they will discard you and abandon your precious family, liars and fools all of them.

"Sheen's Korner could use the bright and sterling presence you had from day one.  You have my digits, use them, show your courage Peter, come dance in my gold.

"Number 3 Bruce - Bruce daisy and wilt. shame on you, you much shorter than average fool.  And shame on your invalid attempts to shell game this grand magician.  

"My crew now knows the truth. Yes that is all of their fists pounding on your paper thin chamber door.  They now lead with solid proof of your sordid hypocrisy and yellow-spined tactics.

"Wait is that an angry mob raiding your muck hole? It is over tiny man. Grab ankles and accept your fate.

"Wow it must really suck being you right now. The pulp of fiction suits you well.  Since childhood short, weak, thick glasses, never seen by a goddess, only owned by a bully like a bitch. Sizzle, losing, bye.

"Number 4 - Hi ya Chuck-E-Cheese ball.  Where ya hiding silly clown? Behind your narcissism, your greed, your hatred of yourself or women?

"Which personality are you cowering beneath for transparent cover?  I see you you little worm.  I see you behind your plastic smile, your bitchy pout and your desperate need to be liked.

"Forget love, that ship sailed when you were born.  To use one of your stupid and unfunny jokes.  Good luck with those tin cans s**t brain.  and the mush mouth of some pathetic carcass you so arrogantly attempted to trade out for this warlock.

"Think of me often loser during your most quiet moments.  All alone in the world, staring into the mirror, your least favorite activity. Think of me as you pray to the silly God of AA.

"While begging refuge from the contaminated image of hatred and dismay that so painfully glares back.

Can you smell your soul? Can you smell the rotting dog s**t? The fermented puke that is your viscera?

"Can you smell the lies? Can you smell the carnage you created?  Can you smell the impostor living within?

"Can you smell your mother's tears from some distant memory as she scattered her pathetic creation asking all around her why this feeble abortion survived.

"Can you smell it chuck? It smells like malaria in case you were wondering.

If sad and stupid had a smell it would be you F**K BORRE.

"You gotta hate that your stage name rhymes with suck? Personally i find it perfect. Suck and muck.

"You picked a fight with a warlock you little worm, remember this after that first drink back. The drink you know you want. The drink you can't avoid any longer.

"How does it taste? How does it feel? Are you whole again, at peace, in love at peace in love?

"You are no match for this warlock . My power will consume you every losing day ugly whore. Let's do a scene maggot, I speak first, duh.

"ME: Are you an assailant?

"F**k Borre: I'm a show runner

"ME: You're neither.  You're an ugly clown sent by corporate fools to collect your fill.

"Chew heartily loser shortly from now you'll have nothing left. Nothing.

How does last night's 2.8 in the demo feel? Ouch!

"How about last night's 2.6 to follow?  Should have gone up, instead it went down.  Like you on some four dollar trollop.  Sizzle, losing, bye.

"You're all nothing shy of traitors.  Rational egos will be your downfall.  Mark this warlock's words.  Defeat is not an option.

"Moving along now to our next item at hand. There has been global speak regarding my tiger blood and yes it's real, it's as real as me.

"To avoid any speculation I will now allow my precious tiger blood to be extracted.  There you go, those that deserve it now posses it.

"Use it wisely, I trust that you will.  As I stated earlier a high treason has occured.  The scales of justice are in a state of radical disarray.

"Together we must right this infantile wrong.

"One final note - Sheen's Korner is now for sale as a sports bar.  You know where to find me so I bid you adieu.