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Shannon Beador Drops Divorce Bombshell On 'RHOC' Reunion: 'It's Not What I Wanted'

Nov. 21 2017, Updated 11:44 a.m. ET

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Shannon Beador's tragic divorce announcement was the saddest part of the Real Housewives of Orange County's reunion episode. In the show, the star revealed that she tried to save her marriage to David, but he finally called it quits before they could repair the damage.

She admitted she'd lost 25 of the 40 pounds she had gained and told Andy Cohen and her co-stars that she dreaded the season.

"I didn't want to film. I didn't want to be in front of the camera. You feel crappy about yourself." She described her struggle with the extra weight. "For me I've always been a size two or four. For me personally this was a huge change."

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Shannon discussed blaming Vicki Gunvalson throughout the season for her weight gain. When a fan asked why should couldn't take responsibility she insisted: "I have taken responsibility."

"It was taken out of context. I'm not blaming Vicki for me opening my mouth and putting things in it."

Vicki apologized to Shannon for bringing up abuse allegations last year. "I feel terrible about it. It was never meant to be discussed publicly. It was a private conversation Kelly and I had and if I could take it back I would."

Shannon confessed that she had a tough time watching the show. "Let's be honest. This season has been very very painful and hard for me to watch. And times I feel pathetic. I think you can tell more about my relationship in the scenes when I'm not with him. As I look back I was taking the pain I was trying to mask. I was trying to convince myself that everything else was OK and I took it out on other people. I apologize to anybody that I did. That's not the person that I am."

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She told Cohen: "I don't want to cry anymore. I'm a fun person (Tamra Judge interjected "Not this year'). I didn't recognize myself."

Andy asked Shannon what the status of her marriage was and she dropped the bombshell. "So, I knew this day was coming. I thought I would be prepared. David and I aren't together anymore. Five weeks ago I moved into my own place. It's not what I wanted and it is really really hard," she said.

"I'm a mom and I'm a role model for my kids. It got to the point that I wasn't teaching my daughters positive lessons. So, they deserve a happy and joyful home and that's where we are."

Shannon then revealed how her marriage ended. "I did have a conversation at the beginning of the summer that I just couldn't keep living this week. For months he lived at a separate end of the house It was like I was living with a stranger."

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She then tearfully explained their final try. "I'm just going to be honest. We went on a trip to Hawaii which I hoped would bring everything together but he left the trip early and when I came home he said we're done."

Vicki teared up at the news. "It's sad. I didn't know. I'm sad about it because I didn't know. I thought they were doing really good. If I were responsible for any of it I'd feel awful. If I could take back that day that I was hurting because you guys weren't talking to me. But I hate to see marriages fall apart. Children. Now we got two out of seven of us. It is just so sad."

A calmer Shannon did not fight with Vicki. "You are not the person who caused David and I separating. There were issues in our marriage from the beginning. It's just very very difficult to go from the highest of the high that you could even imagine and now I know what a good marriage is supposed to be. I know what it is like when someone looks at you adoring. When all of a sudden that is taken away. I said to David when he told me it was over, I said, 'What happened?' and he said we had a couple good months.' It is just knife in your heart."

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Accepting her situation, Shannon confessed: "It is not what any of us wanted. I'm 53 years old. I can do it and I can teach my girls a positive lesson through all of this."

Vicki told her "I'm so sorry. I've kept you on my prayer list. I did not expect this. You've got a bunch of ladies supporting you."

Shannon admitted that she never got over her husband's affair.

As the show cut away for a break the cameras kept rolling and Shannon told her RHOC co-stars "You guys have to understand we just needed time to process. I didn't want anybody to know. I just didn't want anybody to know. It's like real now. Because I said it. I just feel sick. Sick to my stomach."

Tragically, Shannon added: "The first time that is going to kill me is when he's on a date."

Kelly Dodd told the group about her own "sad" divorce, "I've lived with Michael most of my whole life. Since I was 28. We have a child together. It is hard to see it go," she said, nonetheless admitting, "We are completely separated."

She said that she filed for divorce and they were working on their custody arrangement abut their daughter, Jolie.

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"Sometimes it hits children a little bit later," Tamra told her. "My advice is not to say anything bad about her father, just support him."

Tamra's own painful relationship with her estranged daughter Sidney Barney was her main topic. She discussed going to her high school graduation while filming was happening.

"It was something that I had been thinking about for the past few years. It was the next milestone in her life that I didn't want to miss. When I was invited I was so grateful I was so happy. But I started wondering why am I not helping her, why am I not picking out her dress? It was so hurtful."

She told Andy their current relationship was "not good. I'll take some blame for that. There was a moment for a few weeks that we sat down and met and her dad started posting pictures of her and all of a sudden the stories started coming out saying Tamra's not invited to the graduation and I posted a picture of her and I when she asked me not to.

"I was so hurt," Judge said while crying. "There were so many horrible stories that were coming out. And I was impulsive. And she sent me a message that wasn't very nice."

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Andy recalled the public social media post Sidney wrote about her mother.

"When your child turns their back on you it is very hard to keep it from a reality show when you're on a reality show. And half your heart is missing. How do you stay quiet about that?" Judge cried.

"When I was with Lydia I didn't expect that to come out her estrangement from Sidney at the Bible study. I think she'll understand that when she is older and has her own kids and she'll understand how hard it is."

Tamra cried about the damaged relationship. "If I had done something absolutely horrible to her to warrant this I get it. But I was absolutely nothing but a loving mother. That's it."

Vicki expressed her sympathy for Judge. "I only knew Tamra's love for her daughter. It is super sad. Men are going to come and go but your children are your everything."

Tamra also revealed that her son Ryan Vieth and his baby mama Sarah Rodriguez had split up and she "has a boyfriend."

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Vicki, The OG from the OC, told Andy she was happy in her relationship with Steve Lodge. "I think we will be married one day," she said, and Judge described him as "Night and day (compared to Brooks Ayers)! From a crook to a cop. I can go on."

Vicki also gave an update on her health. "I'm doing good. I'm on high blood pressure medicine. Making some changes. I'm doing better," and said her daughter Briana was dealing with her own health issues.

Lydia McLaughlin explained her discomfort at the Drag Queen Bingo and slammed Shannon's Tweet about the situation.

"I saw on line, you retweeted someone who said I was homophobic. I felt like that was so below the belt. I'm not homophobic. I work with gay people, I have gay people I my life. My maid of honor, my best friend in life, is a lesbian," Lydia said.

Shannon denied she retweeted the message but producers flashed it on the screen. The two women discussed why they no longer got along.

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"At the end of the season I reached out multiple times and you never responded," Lydia told Shannon. "Then I watched the show and you attacked me in your blog."

Shannon said to her: "You have said multiple times 'you are crazy,' and you are the 'Mayor of Crazy Town" and Lydia, replied "Said it to your face. I agree with all of those things about you."

Stay with Radar for The Real Housewives of Orange County for the final reunion show of season 12!

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