With millions in album sales and Twitter followers, you’d think Lady Gaga‘s got enough confidence to fill a cathedral.
But, apparently not.
The singer lets her brash, bold stage presence down for HBO’s cameras in the upcoming documentary Lady Gaga Presents the Monster Ball Tour: At Madison Square Garden, where she sobs while discussing her insecurities.
“I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school and I just have to pick myself up and tell myself that I’m a superstar every morning, so that I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be,” the Judas singer said. “But sometimes, I still feel like people are trying to destroy me. I cannot be destroyed, I will not be destroyed and you will never destroy the kingdom that is my fans.”
The Bad Romance singer, who’s admitted she was bullied in high school, says she’s: “Fighting for every kid that’s like me, that felt like I felt and feels like I still feel.
“I just wanna be a queen for them and sometimes I don’t feel like one,” Gaga said of her fans, who she calls Little Monsters. “It’s not about being a winner for me anymore — it’s about being a winner for all of them.”
Gaga then prayed to not “give in to [her] own insecurities.”
The HBO special premieres May 7; Gaga’s new album Born This Way hits stores May 23.