On episode 8 of The Real Housewives of New York, we are left to pick up the pieces following two big battles: Ramona Singer vs. John Mahdessian and Skinny Girl vs. Tipsy Girl.
Of course, no one is better at mending broken relationships than Dorinda Medley. After all, the reality star was able to take a pile of sweat-stained oxford shirts and some Just For Men hair dye and call it a boyfriend. She's also managed to stay friends with Singer for many years, making her a pro at dealing with messes.
However, on Wednesday's episode, Medley confessed to Jules Wainstein that her friendship with Ramona has been very strained after the infamous dry cleaning party where Singer played drunk sorority girlfriend to an even more drunk party guest, Rey, and got up in Mahdessian's face.
"It's like once bitten, twice shy," she told herself while talking to Jules.
Unconvincingly, Medley posited that "maybe Ramona wants to sleep with John? I should just let that happen. It's like she has a hard on for him." Even Wainstein knew that wasn't the right answer.
Meanwhile, somewhere in downtown Manhattan, Bethenny Frankel threw a holiday party with caviar sponsored by, what she called, Elsa from Frozen. Singer arrived soon after, toting her own bottle of Pinot Grigio, with which she was ready to spill tea on her version of what went down at Mahdessian's party.
After Singer painted herself the victim of Mahdessian's "fat, disgusting hands" and of drunken philanthropist Rey, Wainstein attempted to interject a different (and more sober) version of what happened. But her efforts went unnoticed, as Singer and Medley silenced her defense.
"I feel so lost," Medley later confided in Frankel.
True to form, The Skinnygirl mogul advised Medley to take some time to herself, i.e. leave Mahdessian at the dry cleaners and forget to pick him up for a month or two.
"It's obvious Dorinda is afraid to be alone," said Frankel who, ironically, could be rebranded as "Lonely Girl," especially given how empty her party was. To put it in perspective, it was even smaller than Jules Wainstein's recent brunch!
After Chapter 11 and being shamed in the den of the Skinnygirl, Sonja Morgan still had her dignity in tact — and, of course, her townhouse for LuAnn De Lesseps to crash in between one night stands. But one particular hook-up became serious! During the episode, we are introduced to Tom, a bald, handsome fellow now engaged to the Countess.
Unfortunately, Singer claimed that she used to date him as well.
"What if I was still with him?" Ramona barked when she discovered out who the mystery man was.
Fresh off the heels of the Skinnygirl vs. Tipsy Girl debacle, Medley decided to further isolate Morgan, disinviting her to party in the Berkshires.
In true mean girl fashion, Medley used the strategy of faking concern for Morgan, saying things like, "I feel like right now you are in sort of a vulnerable position" and "I don't think right now it's healthy for you to be in a room with all those girls."
Morgan was quick to point out that it must have been about Medley's desire to "suck up to Bethenny," refraining from directly confronting Medley on the subject (probably for fear of further isolating herself).
To the cameras, she asked: "Wasn't Ramona the one acting out at your party? The girls love me at parties. I'm the one making out with everyone. Why are you worried about me?"
After being downright sh*tty to Morgan, it was poetic justice to see Singer's dog poop all over Medley's gorgeous home in the Berkshires. Cementing her title as "Worst Friend Ever," Singer stepped in the dog poop and unknowingly dragged it all over the rugs of Medley's home.
"It's very prophetic. She spent the last month treating me like sh*t, and now her dog's going to treat my house like sh*t. It's full circle," Medley mused.
Medley may not have wanted drama, but De Lesseps and Frankel bring plenty in the absence of Morgan.
Then, we get a small taste of what's to be a very dramatic Berkshires episode. Frankel came in guns blazing and ready to "dismantle" the Countess.
When De Lesseps said she's been trying to "mentor" Morgan, the Skinny Girl burst out in laughter. "You're mentoring her?! That's like the blind leading the deaf!"
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.