Best-Selling Writer Sneers Only Way Joe Biden Can Win Prez Race is in WHEELCHAIR — Acting Like Professor X

The only way that Joe Biden can win the 2024 election against Donald Trump is if Democrats stick him in a wheelchair and make him look like X-Men's telepathic genius Professor X, a commentator has shockingly claimed.

Best-selling British author and journalist Caitlin Moran, writer of the memoir How to Be a Woman, novel How to Build a Girl, and TV series Raised by Wolves, blasted the doddering presidential nominee in a tongue-in-cheek column for The Times on Wednesday, RadarOnline.com can reveal.

"The American president, Joe Biden, appears to be on 4 percent battery, but is so old no one can find a compatible charging lead," she joked. "But is there a way the Democrats can salvage this? This is a world fully soaked in the DC/ Marvel superhero universes. If it's too late to find a non-Biden candidate, I suggest that they go full X-Men: put Biden in a snazzy-looking black wheelchair and spin him as an eccentric Professor X-type character."

"If his handlers can get him on and off stage using a remote control and some dramatic music, that's half of all potential problems removed at a stroke," Moran continued. "And if Biden has communication problems? Well, Beast's ingenious mutation-suppressing serum, when given to Professor X, caused a personality change that made him aggressive towards people, and eff and jeff like a plumber."

"We just need a spokesperson to murmur something about 'America welcoming diversity — up to and including mutants,' and at least it will get the rest of the Democratic Party back onside."

"A long shot? Obviously, yes. But if Trump's getting a second shot at the White House primarily off the back of The Apprentice, then Biden can surely give X-Men a bang. Because when I say, 'After all, he has nothing to lose,' I mean that in the most dolorous way possible," she concluded.

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Moran's satirical broadside comes a day after Hollywood A-lister George Clooney, once one of Biden's staunchest supporters, penned a bombshell op-ed calling on the incumbent to step aside and drop out of the race.

"We are not going to win in November with this president. On top of that, we won’t win the House, and we’re going to lose the Senate," Clooney wrote. "The dam has broken. We can put our heads in the sand and pray for a miracle in November, or we can speak the truth."

The actor joined the growing chorus of prominent voices demanding a new candidate in the wake of the disastrous debate. "Joe Biden has been a fine president, but it's time for him — in the interests of the America he so clearly loves — to announce he will not run for re-election," famed novelist Stephen King tweeted on Monday.