Amid her Grammy Award wins and hit records, Taylor Swift’s time in the spotlight hasn’t always been pleasant.
In her documentary, Taylor Swift: Miss Americana, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival on Thursday, January 23, the pop star, 30, confessed she previously suffered from an eating disorder.
Ensuing a clip of her being followed by paparazzi, she confessed it’s not always good for her to see photos of herself as it triggers the issue.
“It’s only happened a few times, and I’m not in any way proud of it,” Swift said. “A picture of me where I feel like I looked like my tummy was too big, or … someone said that I looked pregnant … and that’ll just trigger me to just starve a little bit — just stop eating.”
Swift elaborated on her eating disorder, providing further examples during a recently published interview with Variety.
In one instance, after shooting her first ever cover of a magazine, the “Blank Space” hitmaker recalled reading the headline, “Pregnant at 18?.”
“It was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat. So I just registered that as a punishment,” she explained. On the contrary, she recognized she would often be praised when she was able to fit into the sample sizes in her dressing rooms and thought of that as a “pat on the head.” “You register that enough times, and you just start to accommodate everything towards praise and punishment, including your own body,” she said.
Swift admitted she was reluctant to open up on her past sufferings and is still “pretty uncomfortable” talking about it now.
“I didn’t know if I was going to feel comfortable with talking about body image and talking about the stuff I’ve gone through in terms of how unhealthy that’s been for me — my relationship with food and all that over the years,” she explained.
In fact, she admires Jameela Jamil for her ability to talk about body image in an articulate way, and highlights her as one of the people who’ve helped her overcome the disorder.
Now, the singer no longer thinks it’s okay to feel like she is going to pass out and thinks of food as a means of getting stronger. She has also learned to ignore any comments about weight gain, noting that body image is a lose-lose in Hollywood.
“If you’re thin enough, then you don’t have that ass that everybody wants,” she said in the documentary. “But if you have enough weight on you to have an ass, your stomach isn’t flat enough. It’s all just f—ing impossible.”
As RadarOnline.com readers know, Swift’s body image is only one of the major hardships she faced as a singer. She was recently going head to head with her former record label Big Machine Records after they acquired her masters and allegedlyset restrictions on the songs she was able to perform for the 2019 American Music Awards. The label denied the claims.