Nigella Lawson In Tears While Talking About Split From Hubby, Domestic Abuse & Drug Use: 'I've Had Better Times'

It was a revealing year for celebrity chef Nigella Lawson — or as she'd put it, "mortifying" -- and during an appearance on The Michael McIntyre Chat Show in Britain, The Taste judge was brought to tears while opening up about the split with her husband, domestic violence allegations and her own admitted drug use.

The TV chef and mother-of-two admitted she wasn't innocent in the breakup with Charles Saatchi but hasn't spoken out publicly much at all since being forced to admit her cocaine and marijuana use in court defending herself in a criminal trial.

"I have had better times," Lawson said.

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"It's spring and I am feeling better and I am very happy to be here."

Lawson, 54, went on to say, "I try not to live in the public sphere very much. You have your own life and you are the person inside. I really think if the major thing in your life is what people who don't know you think then you are living your life wrong.

"I'm not particularly guarded and I say and do some things I may regret later. But I would rather embarrass myself and be a bit idiotic sometimes than spend my whole life worrying about what people think."

Lawson briefly opened up in Jan. on Good Morning America — but it was the appearance on McIntyre's show that had her in tears.

"I'm not an innocent, I understand how it works. I just don't involve myself," she told McIntyre.

"I don't speak and don't comment. I could say things and be indiscreet but I don't want to."

Lawson moved out of the home she shared with Saatchi, 70, in June after photos surfaced of him grabbing her by the throat, and the couple were granted a quickie divorce after the advertising tycoon filed last July.

"The real truth is if you don't read things and don't get too involved it doesn't enter your bloodstream. If it doesn't enter you bloodstream you are not contaminated," Lawson said.