Stephen Colbert Honors Ailing 91-Year-Old Mother In TV Return, Calls Her 'Tough As Nails

Feb. 20 2012, Published 2:00 p.m. ET

Political satirist Stephen Colbert was back on the air Monday night after canceling two shows last week in the wake of reports his 91-year-old mother Lorna was sick, and addressed some of the falsities floating around online, while paying homage to his ailing matriarch.

Colbert, 48, went through a laundry list of Internet rumors offered for his absence: he'd been taken off by the FCC because he was about to announce his presidential candidacy; he was 86'ed by the Catholic Church for comparing the Pope's hat to a condom; he was in rehab; and, according to Joan Rivers, he'd taken the time off to get plastic surgery.

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"Wrong Joan, I did not have my eyes done -- I had my a** done ... rumors quelled, moving on," he said. "Oh, and evidently, having 11 children makes you tough as nails."

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Colbert is the youngest sibling in his Irish-Catholic family of 11 children. He grew up on Charleston, South Carolina's James Island.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday nights at 11:30/10:30c on Comedy Central.