The Solution To Barack Obama's "Patriotism Problem"

Looking for a gift for that special someone in your life who needs to demonstrate his patrioitism to a bunch of literal-minded rubes who have difficulty understanding that loyalty to one's country is reflected in the kind of politics you practice rather than the symbols you ostentatiously drape over yourself to cover the vacuous hole at the center of your self-aggrandizing being? Look no further than this 18k Gold Gemstone American USA Flag Pin and Pendant! For a mere $995, you can convince easily-influenced hicks and cynical, smart-enough-to-know-better reporters that you too love this great nation of ours! Only drawback we can see: at a few bucks shy of a grand, it is almost certainly something you'll be accused of elitlism for purchasing. Splashing out 10K on a flatscreen TV is one thing, but a thousand dollars on jewelry? That ain't American.