• K-Fed to the rescue: Kevin Federline files for primary custody of Jayden James and Sean Preston, the hottest toddlers on the L.A. nightclub scene.
• Holy runner: A Colorado priest is arrested after being caught running laps at the local high school wearing nothing but sweat and unrelenting determination.
• Shock!: L.A. police are investigating a potential sexual assault that took place at the Playboy Mansion. Then they're going to look into allegations of rampant grab-ass on adult film sets.
• Ex is decked: J-Lo wins more than a half-million dollars in a breach of contract lawsuit against her first husband Ojani Noa, who was trying to publish a juicy book about their relationship.