Political satirist Stephen Colbert was back on the air Monday night after canceling two shows last week in the wake of reports his 91-year-old mother Lorna was sick, and addressed some of the falsities floating around online, while paying homage to his ailing matriarch.
Colbert, 48, went through a laundry list of Internet rumors offered for his absence: he’d been taken off by the FCC because he was about to announce his presidential candidacy; he was 86′ed by the Catholic Church for comparing the Pope’s hat to a condom; he was in rehab; and, according to Joan Rivers, he’d taken the time off to get plastic surgery.
“Wrong Joan, I did not have my eyes done — I had my a** done … rumors quelled, moving on,” he said. “Oh, and evidently, having 11 children makes you tough as nails.”
Colbert is the youngest sibling in his Irish-Catholic family of 11 children. He grew up on Charleston, South Carolina’s James Island.
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday nights at 11:30/10:30c on Comedy Central.