In a one-on-one interview with TODAY's Matt Lauer, sports star Michael Phelps came clean about his struggles with alcohol, admitting that at one point he "didn't want to see another day."
The 22-time Olympic medalist revealed details of the downward spiral that led to two DUI arrests, how they affected his fans, and more importantly, his mother, Debbie Phelps.
"I think my mom was happy that I was alive because I think she saw the path I was going down," The 30-year-old confessed. "I think a lot of people close to me saw it. And I was going fast. Fast. Honestly, at one point I felt like I didn't want to see another day."
As Radar previously reported, Phelps was first arrested in 2004, pleading guilty to drunk driving. He was arrested again in September 2014, this time receiving a six-month suspension from competing and an court-ordered six weeks in rehab.
"I sent myself down a downward spiral," he said of his struggles. "I think it was more of, of a sign than anything else. That I had to get something under control, whatever it was. I look back at that night and everything happened for a reason."
When Lauer asked if the he viewed his arrests as a "cry for help," Phelps answered, "I believe so. Yeah. I really do."
But when asked if he considers himself an alcoholic, the athlete answered: "I don't know. I honestly don't know. I know I have probably moments where I have gone off the deep end where I shouldn't. And, and — I would say binged more than anything else."
Now, Phelps says he's happier than ever, especially thanks to his fiancee, Nicole Johnson, and their awaited baby, due to arrive in May.
As for his upcoming training, the Olympian says there's a big difference from his troubled ways — including numerous fights with longtime coach Bob Bowman — in 2012.
"I want to be here. That's the difference," Phelps shared. "I had no desire to go to work out before. And I want to retire how I want to retire. And I have a great opportunity to do that. I haven't trained like this in a decade."