Well, they tried.
The Garden State besties, along with their fiances Jionni La Valle and Roger Mathews, took actual shots of Snooki's mother's milk on Tuesday's edition of Snooki & JWOWW, and we've got the clip for you right here on RadarOnline.com.
The experiment was quite unpleasant for the grown-ups, as Roger compared it to "chugging mashed potatoes."
"There are clumps in it -- it's very clumpy," JWOWWs hubby-to-be dryly said.
Snooki was less descriptive in her assessment of her own output: "That tasted like sh*t!"
At that point, the once-out-of-control party girl, who didn't sip a drop of booze throughout her pregnancy, came to the realization that "in the last 9 months, the only shot that I've taken is my own breast milk."
With that in mind, the new mom set out to end her sobriety streak at a club, where she was up to her old ways -- as JWOWW said, drinking "massive amounts of alcohol" -- even making out with her best friend at one point.