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Andi Dorfman's Toxic Relationship With 'Abuser' Josh Murray Revealed

andi dorfman josh murray relationship issues

May. 17 2016, Updated 9:18 p.m. ET

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andi dorfman josh murray relationship issues

Andi Dorfman's fairytale ending turned into a nightmare when her engagement to Bachelorette winner Josh Murray turned toxic only four months into their short-lived romance. In her explosive tell-all book, It's Not Okay, the reality star claims her ex-fiancé's controlling personality led to their split.

EXCLUSIVE: ‘The Bachelorette’ stars Josh Murray and Andi Dorfman get sushi to go in Atlanta

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Dorfman explained how the first four months of her engagement were "blissfully happy," three were full of "tense ups and downs" and the final two were "pure torture." "We had gone from completely smitten and in love to hating each other," the 29-year-old wrote.

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EXCLUSIVE: Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray leave her apartment with bags and clothes in Atlanta

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While Dorfman felt uncomfortable being in the public eye, she claims her then-future husband "thrived in the spotlight." "This didn't bother me at first," she wrote. "In fact, I had wanted it for him. I wanted him to have the spotlight that he had missed out on all of his life since his younger brother had gained notoriety as a college and then professional athlete."

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EXCLUSIVE: ‘The Bachelorette’ couple Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray go for dinner in NYC

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But the newfound fame contributed to the demise of their relationship, as Murray had rules in place for his fiancée, according to Dorfman. "Rule number one was that I was not to take photos with other men," she wrote. "Rule number two was mutually agreed upon: no photos at dinner."

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EXCLUSIVE: ‘The Bachelorette’ couple Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray go for dinner in NYC

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While Dorfman claims the rules worked for a while, she says soon Murray began to break them: "Photos of Murray with a bevy of girls began popping up on social media, and he had gone from a man preaching the value of privacy to a man who not only obliged photo requests during dinner, but went so far as to offer them." She then questioned if Murray loved the fame or her more.

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Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray from “The Bachelorette” are very happy in New York City

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But the rules didn't end there, as Dorfman claims she was forbidden from returning to work as a district attorney. "It would be 'selfish' of me to return to such a 'dangerous job;' selfish to him... selfish to our children," she wrote. "He was adamant about filling the role of the 'manly breadwinner' and paid the majority of our bills."

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“The Bachelorette” Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray coming out of “Good Morning America” in NYC

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He even refused to allow her to join Dancing With the Stars because the show is "too sexualized," she alleged. As for clothing, Dorfman explained how she hid the sexy pieces she bought from Murray.

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EXCLUSIVE: ‘The Bachelorette’ stars Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray go grocery shopping together in Atlanta

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Dorfman was expected to "bear his children" and support his "ridiculous business ventures," she claimed. "From suddenly trading penny stocks, to selling vitamins and weight-loss products, there was no telling what my fiancé's next venture would be," she ranted.

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Clayton Kershaw’s 2nd Annual Ping Pong 4 Purpose Charity Event Benefiting “Kershaw’s Challenge” – Inside

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The author gave back her Neil Lane engagement ring after a fight led her to temporarily end the romance. "I was talking to a guest at the event, who happened to be a man," she wrote. "When Murray pulled me aside and told me how disrespectful I was being." After the former baseball player called her a "whore," she claims, they "shouted in fury at one another" in their hotel room. The alleged jealously only continued, as Murray went so far as to criticize her for following a male country singer on Twitter, Dorfman writes.

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Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray are happy love birds in the Big Apple

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Before runner-up Nick Viall revealed he had sex with Dorfman on After the Final Rose, Murray threatened to end their relationship if she slept with another man from the show, Dorfman said. Although she denied it at the time, she eventually came clean. "It would be an excuse to call me a 'whore,'" she said. "And it would eventually lead to the demise of our engagement."

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EXCLUSIVE: ‘The Bachelorette’ couple Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray go for dinner in NYC

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Dorfman hit her breaking point, she writes, when Murray became jealous that she was spending more time with her friends at a wedding than him. "'So just how many of these guys have you hooked up with?'" she claims he asked her at the ceremony. Josh eventually left the party while she was off with her friends, and when she found him outside, she says he called her a "b***h."

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“The Bachelorette” Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray on “Good Morning America” in NYC

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"I had become a twenty-seven-year-old woman who walked on eggshells in her own home," she wrote. "What they didn't know is I was trapped with someone who, in my opinion, often behaved like an emotional abuser."

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EXCLUSIVE: Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray leave her apartment with bags and clothes in Atlanta

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It was during a phone call with her friend that she knew she had to end the relationship. "'If I show up dead, tell the cops he did it,'" she said. "Immediately after saying it, I could see in the mirror my oh-shit-did-I-just-say-that? Face and I quickly giggled in an attempt to sweep it under the rug."

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Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX)

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Two days later, at their last public event together, the couple experienced a fight that would end the relationship. After Murray revealed his ex had just began working for him, they went their separate ways while in Los Angeles for a Bachelor premiere party. While she was with her friends, he accused her of hanging out with other men. When they met up later on in the evening, he became angry when she spoke to his male friends. "'This is over, isn't it?'" she asked when they returned to their apartment. "His voice cracked. 'Yes, I think so.'"

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