It's been almost a month since DMX died, and the fiancée he left behind – Desiree Lindstrom – continues to mourn his loss.
Lindstrom has taken to her Instagram account over the last several days to share previously unseen photos and videos of the late rapper, who died in a New York hospital one week after suffering a drug overdose.
It is all so genuinely heartbreaking.
"Omg this really breaks my heart 💔 that you are not here with us! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 God please give me the strength!!!!" she captioned a video of X carrying and dancing joyfully with their son, 4-year-old Exodus Simmons, who is the rapper's 15th child.
"The love of old school music that @exodus_simmons1 has is because of you... we miss you so very much!!! 💔" Desiree captioned another video of the father-son duo jamming out to Chaka Khan's Ain't Nobody.
In a third video capturing DMX showing Exodus how to play pool on a mini table, Desiree explained, "@exodus_simmons1 wanted to be just like you... He looked up to you in so many ways.. He wanted to play the games you liked to play.. sing the music you loved to hear... you always said baby, that @exodus_simmons1 was your twin and he acts just like you.. I miss seeing you two together, laughing and hugging each other! You two are my world! Love you..."
"Baby I'm missing the way, how you would hold me close 💔 the tightness always gave me comfort! I will forever love you...." she captioned a shot of her man embracing her.
Desiree also shared a video from 2019 of DMX proposing to her in front of their family and friends, who all loudly cheered after he got down on one knee.
"I will never forget this day ever!" she wrote alongside the heart-warming clip. "You Repurposed [sic] to me because you wanted too, on your own, in front of our family and friends, At our son @exodus_simmons1 third birthday party! Everything with our relationship was not always perfect but I loved you for you and you loved me for me and we loved our son unconditionally! I'm in so much pain right now that you are not here with all of us, not just me but all of us! It's a pain in my heart that will never go away! I love you baby...💔😭💔"
She also posted two photos from the day Exodus was born, as his doting dad held him in his arms.
"So heartbroken 💔! They were close from day one!" she captioned the images. "Baby you were such an amazing dad! I will always appreciate the love you had for @exodus_simmons1 I'm so happy that I have so many pictures to remind him day by day how much you loved him, I'm forever grateful! Thank you earl for being the best you could be to him! 🙏🙏🙏😭💔😭💔"
"Woke up missing your kisses! Life is completely not the same without you... omg I miss you so much! This is the hardest thing ever!!!! 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏" Desiree captioned a closeup photo of her and X locking lips.
She also posted a photo from the day they first met, writing, "The first night we met and you held me close. I knew I would never let go. I was lost in you and nothing else mattered. My best friend, my baby, my love...truly my everything. Thank you for us. Thank you for Exodus. Thank you God for Earl Simmons...forever X."
And in a video posted around the time of his overdose, Desiree captured her man doing what he loved to do: sing and smile and bop around. "He talking about record us rocking lol he too funny!!!" she captioned the candid footage.
DMX, real name Earl Simmons, was laid to rest in Yonkers, New York, following an over-the-top funeral procession and lavish celebration of life at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn.
In true X fashion, his memorial service featured a monster truck accompanied by a flock of motorcycles, and his hearse was a souped-up Ford F-250 featuring big axles and tires. The truck was also adorned with the phrase "Long Live DMX" and the Ruff Ryders logo.