Prince Harry Felt 'Guilty' Being Happy After Mom Diana's Tragic Death — as Duke Reveals What Finally 'Freed' Him
Prince Harry is opening up about the guilt he felt after his mother's death.
Oct. 12 2026, Published 3:16 p.m. ET
Prince Harry opened up on complex feelings he's been harboring since his mother Princess Diana's death, RadarOnline.com can report.
During an appearance in a MasterClass episode on "Building Resilience Through Loss," the Duke of Sussex, 42, admitted that he considered himself a "student of grief."
Harry Felt He Couldn't Hold Space for Joy
Diana unexpectedly passed away when Harry was only 12.
Harry sat down with neuroscientist Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor in a new class that will explain "how to navigate all of life’s passings without suppressing your feelings or succumbing to despair."
He expressed how he felt emotionally shut down following the passing of Diana when he was just 12-years-old. The tragic, high-speed car crash occurred in August 1997 in Paris while she was trying to evade the paparazzi. She was only 36.
"I spent so long emotionally numb because, to a large extent, nobody told me joy was still allowed, but it wasn't betrayal," Harry said.
'I Couldn't Function Without Adrenaline'
Harry pushed aside grief while serving in the military.
Harry said he had gone to war twice in his 20s with the idea of running away from his emotions, but they eventually caught up with him.
He considered the "adrenalized state" he was left in following the accident his "superpower" that assisted him in the military, but he knew it was ultimately just a distraction from processing his grief.
"It was as if I needed stress in order to get the adrenaline to make my brain function," he says. "I felt like I couldn't function without adrenaline," he continued. "I felt like I had to be sad in order to prove to her that I missed her."
During the sit-down, Harry also confessed to forgetting the sound of her voice and what she looked like, but over time, his wounds healed.
"What I discovered was actually she just wanted me to be happy,” Harry says. “And that was a huge mental shift for me. It freed me, and it gave me a whole different outlook on life.”
Royal Duties Felt Suffocating
Harry's grief caught up with him with the weight of years of royal duties.
Harry admitted he only cried at his mother's burial, then didn't shed tears for her again for two decades.
"I was convinced that was strength, but it wasn’t," he says candidly. "It was a 12-year-old boy with no permission to fall apart and no roadmap for how to heal.”
He said he felt like he had to put on a facade to the public, despite having access to resources as a member of the Royal Family, and he frequently had panic attacks when doing public engagements.
"The panic was having to put my suit, jacket, and tie on and suddenly feel suffocated. The panic was going from A to B, getting out of the car in front of all the cameras and the clicks," he said.
Diana's Presence Looms Over Harry More Than Ever
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Prince Harry relocated to Canada in 2019 with wife Meghan Markle.
Harry moved to Canada with his wife, Meghan Markle, and son Prince Archie in late 2019, taking a step back from royal duties. They later welcomed their daughter, Lilibet.
Shortly after relocating far from his home country, he experienced "an adrenaline crash," causing a rough patch of depression for two weeks as he had much time to think away from the stress of his royal life.
Today, he said he's been able to find happiness in the solace of his family.
“Everything I do, everything I put my energy towards, I hope that my mother will be proud about it,” he said.
