Read Word-for-Word the Handwritten Diary Entries of 'Completely Overwhelmed' Mom Lindsay Clancy Who Chronicled Her Desperate Spiral
Major portions of Lindsay Clancy's personal diaries were read in court this week.
Aug. 7 2026, Published 2:20 p.m. ET
Lindsay Clancy's chilling private diary entries revealed she felt "suicidal" and desperately needed a "mental break" in the weeks before prosecutors say she strangled her three young children, RadarOnline.com can reveal.
The former labor and delivery nurse is currently on trial for allegedly murdering her kids in January 2023, claiming postpartum psychosis and the effects of multiple prescribed medications robbed her of criminal responsibility.
'I'm So Desperate To Get a Mental Break'
Lindsay Clancy and now ex-husband Patrick are seen in happier times with their two oldest kids.
Portions of the diaries were used by both the prosecution and defense during the second week of Clancy's trial and were seized from her family's home in Duxbury, Massachusetts.
Clancy is accused of strangling her three kids – 5-year-old Cora, 3-year-old Dawson and 8-month-old Callan – with her legal team arguing the former labor and delivery nurse was suffering from severe postpartum psychosis.
"I'm so desperate to get a mental break from taking care of everyone that my mind is trying to find something physically wrong with me," she wrote in a November 18, 2022, entry, two months before the alleged killings.
Lindsay Clancy Began to 'Feel Disconnected With Myself'
Lindsay Clancy is seen listening intensely during her murder trial.
The entry continued, "My mind never shuts off. It’s constantly thinking of the next thing someone needs; I can’t shut it off."
"I desperately want to go back to work, but now I don’t know how I’m going to function, and it worries me," Clancy wrote about her condition and her job at Massachusetts General Hospital.
She stated she began to "feel disconnected with myself," and "Time, reality. I think going back to work will help with that," Clancy's defense attorney, Kevin Reddington, read in open court.
In subsequent entries, the former medical worker admitted she felt "completely overwhelmed," that her "mind is constantly running," and feared "something awful might happen."
Lindsay Clancy Wrote She Had 'Suicidal Thoughts All Day'
Prosecutors showed off one of the exercise bands Lindsay Clancy allegedly used to kill her three children.
A handwritten entry on December 2, 2022, showed Clancy logging that she took "10mg Prozac, 15 Remeron, 75 Seroquel," a prescription drug combo often used to treat depression, anxiety, or sleep disorders.
The following day, Clancy noted that she had "Suicidal thoughts all day until I took Ativan @6pm," referring to the anti-anxiety prescription drug.
After taking more medication before bedtime, Clancy logged that she was able to get three and a half hours of sleep until 12:45 am, "Then awake all night w/suicidal ideation."
"I don't know what’s wrong with me. I want help. I want to be well," Reddington read from another journal excerpt while cross-examining State Police Trooper Cory Melo, a key investigator who took part in the search of the Clancy family residence.
Lindsay Clancy Made Suicide Attempt After Allegedly Killing Her Three Kids
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Lindasy Clancy was left paralyzed from the waist down in a suicide attempt after allegedly killing her three children.
Reddigton also shared that Clancy was feeling terrible about the state of her marriage to her now ex-husband, Patrick Clancy, as she struggled.
"I feel horribly guilty about my marriage. I want to connect with Pat again," she wrote in one entry. "I'm terrified of the relationship."
While Clancy has never denied killing her three children, she has pleaded not guilty to three counts of first-degree murder, as well as charges of strangulation or suffocation and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, with her attorneys arguing postpartum psychosis left her incapable of criminal responsibility.
Patrick left his then-wife and three kids to pick up takeout food on January 24, 2023, returning home less than an hour later to the discovery of the children strangled with exercise bands in the family's basement.
He found Lindsay outside, seriously injured after jumping from a second-story window in an attempt to take her own life, which left her paralyzed from the waist down.
