EXCLUSIVE: Inside Story of How Chrissy Teigen Shockingly Fell Off the Wagon After Years of Gushing About her Sobriety

Three months sober in February 2021, Chrissy Teigen looked back at a memorable night and had to laugh.

Years earlier, at the 2015 Golden Globes – an awards show known for being boozy – the model had been caught on camera guzzling champagne, later becoming a meme for her tipsy "cry face" during her husband John Legend's performance of the song Glory from the movie Selma, RadarOnline.com can reveal.

Six years later and sober, the 39-year-old acknowledged the "legendary moment," but added of her "drunk dumbass" self: "May she forever live in the past, lol."

But it looks like she's returned.

On May 15, the Cravings author, sober for four years, announced she’s had a relapse.

"To have to admit to all of you that I let [alcohol] back into my life… to let a lot of you down, oh I feel it deeply," she told fans, adding: "The truth is, I don’t know what I'm doing."

Teigen was used to being the fun girl, always up for a drink. Her popular recipe collections featured such concoctions as Pink Grapefruit Batch Mimosas and a Pepper Thai vodka drink named for her mother.

The problem was, though she could whip up a drink with the best of them, the former Lip Sync Battle host couldn't stop at one.

"I got used to being in hair and makeup and having a glass of wine," she said of prepping for big nights out, adding: "Then that glass of wine would carry over into me having one before the awards show. And then a bunch at the awards show. And then I felt bad for making kind of an ass of myself to people that I really respected."

Around that time, she also got called out for bullying Courtney Stodden online, saying she needed to figure out how to learn from her bad behavior.

In 2017, Teigen decided she was "point blank, just drinking too much."

With a family history of alcohol abuse, she decided to give it up. "I used to think it was kind of nutty to have to go totally sober," she said. "But now I get it."

Still, she struggled and began drinking again.

Then, on her 35th birthday in 2020, Teigen received a copy of Holly Whitaker's book about recovery, Quit Like a Woman, from her friend and doctor, and things turned around once more.

"Holly Whitaker changed my life, changed my perspective and changed how I view the fking beast that is alcohol," she said.

For four years, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model felt empowered by her sobriety (with a few "wine hiccups" along the way, she confessed.)

Teigen admitted: "I one hundred percent know I like me better sober. I one hundred percent know I get more done, I absolutely feel better in my body without it."

Life before quitting was a slog, she said, explaining she was "tired of day drinking and feeling like st by 6, not being able to sleep."

Worse, she said, she was "tired of throwing up on a Tuesday" and didn't want to "feel like I need a shot to talk to a crowd."

By then, the star, wed to Legend since 2013, had two kids. A third was lost to miscarriage in 2020; Chrissy gave birth to a girl in 2023 and welcomed a son via surrogacy later that year. A source told RadarOnline.com the kids were a motivator for her.

"She doesn't want to ever look at the kids' birthday photos and be that bleary-eyed mom again," an insider said.

Yet in a 2022 post celebrating six months sober, the cracks were there.

"I prob won’t be excited til a larger milestone like at leasssst 5 years," Teigen wrote. "And sometimes I don’t even know if I necessarily won't ever drink again?"

She couldn't keep her demons at bay.

"I hate that the thought of maybe having a drink can consume me some days," she said in her recent post, acknowledging that she was out of control. "So your rational mind is probably like: 'OK THEN STOP, B*H!' and god, do I fking AGREE!"

As our source – and Teigen's past experiences – indicated: "She can't just have one cocktail. One cocktail turns into too many for her."

But by opening up about her mistakes, Teigen is hoping she'll be able to try again.

Telling how she will try to be mindful about her alcohol use, she admitted: "I still know my relationship with alcohol just isn't normal and never will be."