'Dying' Al Pacino, 84, Admits He Despises Being 'Gray', Still Sees Himself as Man In His 30s — And Was Stricken With 'Terrible' Alcoholism at Height of Fame
These days, Al Pacino is haunted by mortality and seems to be preparing for his final act.
RadarOnline.com can reveal The Godfather actor, who released his Sonny Boy memoir on October 8, has been focusing more on his years ahead after nearly dying from Covid-19.
Pacino's new memoir features him opening up about his previous struggles with alcoholism and coming face to face with death — which have all greatly impacted the actor's mindset at the age of 84.
A source told RadarOnline.com: "Al is on his last legs, and he knows it. All he can talk about these days is his mortality and his past."
They added: "Bringing out his memoir has really brought it all poignantly to the front of his mind, and after he was nearly killed by Covid it’s really all he can think about."
"But it’s a real credit to him he is still working — and he intends to until he drops."
While recently speaking on a podcast, the Scarface star recounted how contracting Covid nearly took his life, explaining that he lost consciousness at one point.
He said: "I was sitting there at my house, and I was gone. Like that. I didn’t have a pulse."
After regaining conciousness, Pacino said he was shocked to see multiple paramedics surrounding him in his living room who exclaimed: "He's back. He's here."
While the actor said he didn't see any sort of "white light," he said being "gone" for a short amount of time gave him a new spin on life.
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Pacino said: "Now I started thinking about that, and I never thought about it in my life. But you know actors, it sounds good to me to say I died once. It felt like death."
The actor revealed to another outfit that a nurse said his pulse fully stopped, adding that he "really felt" like he was close to death.
While the actor recognizes that he is an "old fella," he doesn't see himself as such - even opting to put a photo of his younger self on the cover of Sonny Boy.
He told CBS: "When I have my hair now and I go out and someone takes a picture of me, all you see is, like, a white hydrant!
"A white fire hydrant! I don't feel I'm gray yet. I don't want to be gray. I'm that guy in the book cover."
Sonny Boy - a title that stems from a nickname given to Pacino by his mother — also features the actor getting candid about his former struggles with alcohol.
Despite winning multiple Academy Awards, Tonys, and Emmys throughout his lengthy career, the actor admitted he coped with his success by defaulting to alcohol.
He even suffered horrifying "blackouts" and would often skip awards shows and press events, impacting his reputation in Hollywood.
He said: "Alcohol is a depressant – like, literally it brings you down."
Pacino also said that after he stopped drinking, things got "a little worse for a while" before getting better.
"It really was terrible. But then, eventually, thank God, it got there."
These days, Pacino says he's "busy as ever" with six films in the works - emphasizing that he plays much "smaller roles" when compared to his 1972 mafia masterpiece.
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