Meghan McCain says she "blamed herself" after having a miscarriage due to her "high-pressure" job.
McCain learned that she miscarried on the same day she was part of a photoshoot for The Times Magazine’s cover story in May about the importance of The View in American politics.
“It should have been a moment of triumph — a vindication of the show’s significance as a place at the center of political debate, a ratings boom, a must for the top tier of presidential candidates,” Ms. McCain, 34, wrote.
“I look back at those pictures now, and I see a woman hiding her shock and sorrow. I am posed for the camera, looking stern and strong, representing my fellow conservative women across the country. But inside, I am dying. Inside, my baby is dying.”
She continued: "I blamed myself. Perhaps it was wrong of me to choose to be a professional woman, working in a high-pressure, high-visibility, high-stress field, still bearing the burden of the recent loss of my father and facing on top of that the arrows that come with public life. This is not a complaint. This is reality. I blamed my age, I blamed my personality. I blamed everything and anything a person could think of, and what followed was a deep opening of shame."
McCain, who lost her father, the late Sen. John McCain, last year, said she initially wanted to keep the tragedy private but ultimately decided to speak out in support of other women who are suffering.
“I am not hiding anymore,” she wrote. “My miscarriage was a horrendous experience and I would not wish it upon anyone."
“They were conceived, and they lived, fully human and fully ours — and then they died,” she continued. “We deserve the opportunity to speak openly of them, to share what they were and to mourn. More important, they deserve to be spoken of, shared and mourned. These children, shockingly small, shockingly helpless, entirely the work of our love and our humanity, are children.
“When my father passed, I took refuge in the hope that someday we would be united in the hereafter. I still imagine that moment, even as I trust that a loving God will see it happen. Now I imagine it a bit differently. There is my father — and he is holding his granddaughter in his hands,” she concluded.