If Tears Were Hair, Bret Michaels Wouldn't Be Bald

SCHLOCK OF LOVE Michaels feels a bit misty (Photo: Getty Images) Inviting a handful of camera-crazed sluts to live together in a house and catfight it out for on man's has-been heart certainly has its perks. The busty, giggling, bikini-clad backstage casualties spit-shining his motorcycle in the living room, for starters. But, it's not all fun and games in this second season of Bret's Michaels televised quest for something vaguely resembling love. Because, shockingly, those pole-dancing, binge-drinking, stranger-straddling women have feelings, too. And they really, really want to tell you all about them.

The much anticipated Super Bowl-postponed fourth installment of Rock of Love began as promised—extremely stupid people trying to build motorcycles while wearing midriff tops. The whole sad affair revolved around exposed thongs and spurts of brilliance including, "I don't know anything about motorcycles other than guys who ride motorcycles are hot," and, thankfully, this interaction: Stupid girl: "Can you tell me where the air cleaner is?" Not amused supervisor: "It's over there by the sign that says air cleaner."