In a new heartbreaking documentary Diana: Our Mother, Her Life and legacy, Prince William and Prince Harry share their most intimate memories of their mother, including their last phone calls with her and the instant they learned of her 1997 death. As RadarOnline.com has learned, the two royals have finally come clean about their grief over Princess Diana's death, 20 years after the fatal car crash.
"It's still raw," Harry, 32, opened up saying, as he and William flipped through old childhood photos of them with their mom.
Speaking of the love he had for his mother, William said: "I'm grateful that love still feels there." Harry agreed, saying, "It was that love that even if she was on the other side of a room, as a son you could feel it."
Heartbreakingly recalling his last phone call with her, Meghan Markle's royal boyfriend sadly claimed: "If I'd known that was the last time I'd speak to my mother, the things I would have said to her… looking back on it now it is incredibly hard."
As Radar readers know, Diana died in a horrific car crash as she was chased by photographers in Paris. Her lover Dodi Al Fayed died with her. Harry and William were with their father in Scotland at the time. Harry was 12 and William was 15.
"I remember just feeling completely numb, disorientated, dizzy," said William. "You feel very, very confused. And you keep asking yourself 'Why me?' All the time, 'Why, what have I done? Why, why has this happened to us?'"
While the public bashed them for not returning to London immediately after her death, Harry claimed he was very thankful his grandmother put their health before their public image at the time. William agreed, adding: "I think it was a very hard decision for my grandmother to make. She felt very torn between being a grandmother to him and Harry and her Queen role."
They also shared that Queen Elizabeth, 91, used to hide the newspapers from their castle so that William and Harry wouldn't see the news written about her mother's shocking death.
"Back then, obviously, there were no smartphones or anything like that, so you couldn't get your news, and thankfully at the time to be honest, we had the privacy to mourn and collect our thoughts and to have that space away from everybody," William said. "We had no idea that the reaction to her death would be quite so huge."
Now, as he raises his own children with Duchess Kate Middleton, 35, William, 35, claimed he tries to talk to George, 4, and Charlotte, 2, about Diana in order to remind them that there were once two grandmothers in their lives.
"We've got more photos up around the house now of her and we talk about her… it's hard because obviously Katherine didn't know her so she cannot really provide that level of detail," he said.
Speaking of how difficult it was for him to walk next to his mom's casket during her funeral at such a young age, Harry previously stated that he didn't think "any child should be asked to do that, under any circumstances. I don't think it would happen today." In the documentary, however, he claimed that he was glad he ended up participating and making his mother "proud."
"Looking back on it now I am very glad I was part of it," Harry said.
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