A mother’s heartbreak.
Leach, 29, shared the first post on December 26, writing to her 733,000 followers that she was in desperate need of prayers for the three-month old infant who was found not breathing after going down for a nap on Christmas.
“I don’t have any words right now, other than to desperately ask for your prayers. Not the kind that you say “I’m praying for you” and don’t, but the kind where you fall on your knees and beg God for a miracle,” the mother wrote on her Instagram page.
She continued: “While at a relative’s house last night, Crew laid down for a nap and when I went to check on him, he was not breathing. We are living a nightmare, and I’m dying inside. Please pray for my baby. This can’t be real.”
“#PrayforCrew,” she posted on the next photo with the baby boy in the hospital with a ventilator in his mouth. “Right now Crew is 'stable' and the ventilator is breathing for him,” she wrote.
“They are working on stabilizing his body and tomorrow he will have an MRI to determine his brain function and that will determine the next step. I can’t explain to you what this feels like. This kind of thing only happens to “other” people. Not me. I just want to crawl in bed with my baby and nurse him. Instead I’m standing here with a breast-pump in my bra where my baby should be... begging God for a miracle. Please continue to pray. Please. I don’t think I can go on without him. #prayforcrew.”
On Friday Leach announced heartbreaking news about baby Crew by sharing a photo of him in the hospital with both parents by his side.
“Crew’s tiny earthly body is still with us, although I know he’s already dancing and playing in Heaven,” the grieving mother wrote.
She posted a Bible verse to her Instagram story, writing: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18.”
The devastated mother shared the news late Monday that Crew had passed away.
“Our sweet Crew went to be with Jesus today. I rode on the bed with him to the O.R, with Jeff walking beside me as the surgical team pushed us through the halls. People lined the halls to pay their respects to our little hero and then we said the hardest goodbye of our lives,” she wrote.
“I’m not very good with words right now, because my heart hurts and I’m angry. Crew’s Story has reached masses, and it selfishly hurts me that it has. I’m thankful for all the love and support that we have been shown, but please keep in mind that we can see your comments, questions and conversations with one another. Put yourself in our shoes(which is impossible to do) and ask yourself If you’d want to read what you’re about to write or say.
Sharing a small bit of hope, Leach wrote: “Right now Crew is dancing and playing in Heaven with Jeff’s brother, great grandparents, a little brother I never met, and some very special little boys. And one day we hope we to meet the 3 or 4 little lives that he has saved. But right now there’s a big hole in my heart and my arms feel empty. Please continue to pray for our strength in coming hours, days, weeks and years.”
Scroll through the gallery for more details about Brittani Boren Leach’s tragic loss of her baby son and how the family is dealing with the shocking death.
“Crew will be going into the operating room tomorrow at noon to potentially save 3 to 4 babies lives” Leach wrote about the organ donation that they decided to share. “Tonight we are soaking up every moment with him by bathing him, holding him and loving him. We ask that you keep our family in your prayers tomorrow, knowing that it will be the hardest day of our life. And thank you @harmonydesignshop for these beautiful portraits that we will cherish forever. #crewscrew
“It’s all just too much,” Leach captioned a photo of herself sitting on the floor of the hospital with her head in her arms. “All of it. I know God has a plan for this, but I’m really really mad at him right now. I cry behind the bathroom door while Jeff holds me, because in the room over everyone else gets to laugh and go on with their lives, and it makes me so angry.” On Monday she shared how she was struggling with the situation. “Running tests on my sons body to see how his organs are functioning before they take them. Pumping breastmilk just to pour it down the drain. Hearing a baby cry. Seeing a baby his age. Shopping Nordstrom for the dress I’ll wear to my son’s funeral. It’s all too much. I’m sorry to vent, but this is my heart. And I need all the prayers to get through this. #crewscrew.”
“I just wanted to update that Crew is still here,” Leach wrote. “The process of organ donation is not always quick. While today could be the hardest day of our lives, somewhere in the US, a parent will be getting the best news of theirs. Please continue to pray. My heart really can’t take it much longer.”
“We have some hard decisions to make over the next 12 hours, that no parent should ever have to make. We need prayer now, more than before, specifically prayers for peace and clarity on the decisions that have to be made, and for our hearts, the pain is unbearable,” Leach wrote and shared a photo in the hospital with her baby son. “I keep thinking that I will wake up from this nightmare, but I don’t. The outpouring of love and support has been astounding and we cannot even comprehend the amount of love we have been shown. #prayforcrew #crewscrew”
Joanna Gaines sent support to Leach and her family, commenting with a heart emoji: “I remember meeting your beautiful baby Crew in October-praying for ya’ll right now.”
“Right now Crew is dancing and playing in Heaven with Jeff’s brother, great grandparents, a little brother I never met, and some very special little boys," she wrote alongside the news that her three-month-old baby had passed away. "And one day we hope we to meet the 3 or 4 little lives that he has saved. But right now there’s a big hole in my heart and my arms feel empty. Please continue to pray for our strength in coming hours, days, weeks and years.”