Sick Beatings, Threats At Gunpoint & Worse! Nicole's 'Hell' Exposed In Her Secret Abuse Diary
'I wanted to be a wonderful wife…' but O.J. 'made me feel so ugly.'
Feb. 17 2016, Updated 6:50 p.m. ET
O.J. Simpson's ex-wife suffered unspeakable physical, emotional and sexual abuse at his hands before her brutal murder, according to a hidden handwritten diary RadarOnline.com has uncovered. Click through the gallery to read all of Nicole Brown Simpson's shocking secret and confessions.
O.J. Simpson's ex-wife suffered unspeakable physical, emotional and sexual abuse at his hands before her brutal murder, according to a hidden handwritten diary RadarOnline.com has uncovered. Click through the gallery to read all of Nicole Brown Simpson's shocking secret and confessions.
FX's new series, The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, shows viewers what happened at the football legend's "Trial of the Century" following the bloody slayings of Nicole Brown Simpson, 35, and her friend, waiter Ronald Goldman, 25 — but her personal diary exposed the true drama she suffered behind the scenes before her death.
RadarOnline.com found shocking, never-before-disclosed horrors that Nicole endured during her 17-year relationship with O.J.
Nicole's secret journal revealed the explosive revelation that she believed O.J. would kill her one day.
Previously locked away in a vault, Nicole's journal described her life before, during and after their marriage as a "living hell."
Chilling entries detailed how O.J. exploded at her during cocaine-fueled rages, beat her up in a Beverly Hills disco and even assaulted her on her birthday trip to Acapulco.
In disjointed sentences, Nicole scribbled about the first savage beating she suffered when O.J. physically and sexually attacked her on a Manhattan street late one night.
"1978 — first time he beat me up after Louis and Nunie Marx anniversary party ... street corner of New York City Fifth Avenue ... again Sherry Netherland Hotel," she wrote.
"Called mother a whore. Hit me while he f----- me," Nicole detailed in her journal.
She also recalled a vicious beating in a disco, writing: "Pips on Rodeo ... O.J. hit me off sofa at Pips ... wine closet — beat me so bad."
Another 1978 entry told of the battered beauty's trip to a doctor to check for broken bones following an attack.
"Beat me up so bad at home. Ripped all clothes completely off me. Had X Rays," she penned.
Unfortunately for the abused Nicole, vacation getaways offered no sanctuary from O.J.'s anger.
She noted those times and places, writing: "Aspen 1986, Vail 1986, Hawaii, 1988, Acapulco for B-day 1989."
During a trip to Hawaii in 1988, when a man innocently kissed their then 4-month-old son, Justin, the 6-foot-3 running back flew into a rage.
"Hawaii Xmas. Gay man kissed Justin. O.J. … threw me on floor. Bruises."
Another entry described how O.J. "threw fit — chased me, grabbed me, threw me into walls — threw all of my clothes out window, third floor, bruised."
She tragically wrote of trying to get him to quit his fury-fueling coke habit: "When you ask something of me, like, trying to stop you from doing too much cocaine — and you get mad — you're wrong! … I've asked you to work on the coke — you don't!"
The beauty also revealed her torment over his constant cheating with other women — and how he cruelly convinced her she was to blame.
"I wanted to be a wonderful wife … but he made me feel so ugly," Nicole wrote in one tortured entry.
RadarOnline.com can also reveal that Nicole wrote that the heartless football "hero" once ordered her to abort their unborn son, Justin — while threatening her with a gun.
The brute also threw her and their 2-year-old daughter, Sydney, out of his house in the middle of the night.
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He also shamefully abused her in front of loved ones — calling Nicole a "disgusting … fat pig" — because she was pregnant.
Shocking excerpts from the diary were first published on Oct. 24, 1995 — a year after the murders of Nicole and Ron.
At the time, Nicole's distraught father, Lou Brown, confirmed: "This is her personal diary that she kept at her condo.
"This is definitely Nicole's handwriting," noted Nicole's dad.
Perhaps the most terrifying entry in the journal was recorded on June 3, 1994, nine days before Nicole was slaughtered, where O.J. furiously threatened her, saying, "You're gonna pay for this, bitch. … You've got it coming."
Days later, on the night of June 12, 1994, her bloody corpse was found outside her Brentwood, Calif., home with her throat slashed so savagely, her head was nearly severed from her body.
