Baby, Baby, Baby No! The 12 Most-Shocking Jokes From The Justin Bieber Comedy Central Roast
Mar. 31 2015, Published 11:33 a.m. ET
Justin Bieber faced the music at his Comedy Central Roast that aired Monday night, and RadarOnline.com has a dozen of the most-shocking jokes of the evening.
Kevin Hart
Comedy superstar Kevin Hart was the roastmaster for the televised insult-fest, bringing up Bieber's one-time romance with Selena Gomez. He joked, "Selena Gomez couldn't be here tonight -- just because she didn't want to be here."
Jeffrey Ross
Notorious roast regular Jeffrey Ross was firing on all cylinders as he took the stage, saying, "Selena Gomez wanted to be here, but she's dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?" Ouch.
Natasha Leggero
And comic Natasha Leggero also went there, rehashing a 20-year-old tragedy with her joke. "Justin, Selena Gomez had to f*ck you," Leggero said. "She is literally the LEAST LUCKY Selena in all of entertainment history."
Martha Stewart
Martha Stewart threw a bit of shade at her own jailhouse past in her roasting of the Biebs, saying, "Justin you have no idea what you're in for. I'm sure it's great to have 60 million followers on Twitter, but the only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower."
Ludacris
Ludacris, Biebs' partner on his breakout hit "Baby," referenced the singer's 2013 romantic run-in with Brazilian bodybuilder Tati Neves in his monologue. The rapper said, "The Brazilian prostitute that claimed she was with Justin told the news that he was well-endowed. And that prostitute would know because so was he."
Hannibal Buress
Hannibal Buress, whose stand-up routine was the instigator in the Bill Cosby sex scandal late last year, made reference to his newfound notoriety while taking aim at the Canadian crooner. "Justin, I don't like your music," he said. "I think it's bad, man. I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy!"
Snoop Dogg
Snoop Dogg, amid the Bieber jokes, fired his funniest salvo at Buress. He said, "Congratulations Hannibal Buress, you are only the Bill Cosby accuser making money off of him."
Snoop Dogg, Ted Chung
The "Drop It Like It's Hot" rapper had a hysterical diss for Bieber too, telling the bad boy, "When you get to the county jail, hear me, you're gonna be the first dude who ever had a girlfriend and a boyfriend named Gomez."
Shaquille O’Neal
The largest presence on the dais, Shaquille O'Neal, showed his comedic side during the event, which was taped in Culver City, Calif. "Justin as a father of six you have to straighten up, son," the NBA legend joked. "Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn't rank that high. And he uses your music to torture people."
Will Ferrell
Will Ferrell, channeling his Ron Burgundy persona from the Anchorman films, used his deadpan talents to fry the popular singer. "This kid has spunk, moxie, and probably a few other STDs," he joked.
Justin Bieber
Bieber himself weathered the storm, asking a crowd which included stars such as Chrissy Teigen and Kourtney Kardashian: "What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours."
Justin Bieber
After taking the fierce jabs from the dais, Bieber apologized for his youthful mistakes of the last few years, telling the crowd that "the things that I've done really don't define who I am." He continued: "I'm a kind-hearted person who loves people, and through it all, I lost some of my best qualities. For that, I'm sorry. What I can say is I'm looking forward to being someone who you guys can look at and be proud of."