Amber Portwood Planned To Commit Suicide: ‘It Doesn’t Feel Good To Be Alive’

amber portwood suicide confession teen mom og
Source: MTV

Jan. 4 2019, Updated 9:51 a.m. ET

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Amber Portwood has been struggling with post partum depression in recent episodes of Teen Mom OG. In a season finale sneak peek, Portwood shockingly confessed that she planned to commit suicide.

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amber portwood suicide confession teen mom og
Source: MTV

Portwood explained to her cousin how her relationship with baby daddy Andrew Glennon has been “different” since her depression. “We’re not as lovey,” she said. “We’re not as on each other like we used to be. We’re really tired from the baby and stressed out because I’m always unhappy.”

amber portwood suicide confession teen mom og
Source: MTV

She then “There was a night I was waiting for him and James to go to bed so I could kill myself,” she shockingly said. “And for some odd reason he could feel it. He was like, ‘I’m not going to bed.’"

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amber portwood suicide confession teen mom og
Source: MTV

She then explained how it “doesn’t feel good to be alive right now.” She admitted that her depression also stems from being an absentee mom to her daughter Leah with ex-fiancé Gary Shirley. Portwood attended rehab and served a 17-month stint in prison on drug charges. “People saying to me like why couldn’t you do this for Leah,” she cried. “I was young and stupid. I don’t want to feel like that for the rest of my life.”

amber portwood suicide confession teen mom og
Source: MTV

In another clip, friend and co-star Catelynn Lowell, who completed back-to-back rehab stints for suicidal thoughts, revealed Portwood had contacted her for advice. “She reached out to me and she said she was struggling with post partum and stuff. Having suicidal thoughts, hurting herself and other people,” she explained to her husband Tyler Baltierra.

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amber portwood suicide confession teen mom og
Source: MTV

Lowell considered going to Indiana to visit her friend. “It would’ve probably been nice if one of my friends stopped by,” Lowell said. “Amber trusts me and Maci Bookout a lot.

amber portwood suicide confession teen mom og
Source: MTV

Teen Mom OG airs Mondays at 9/8c on MTV.

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