The Full, Uncensored Story of the Night Charlize Theron's Mom Killed Her Crazed Dad

A 15-year-old Charlize Theron and her mother, Gerda, had gone to see a movie on June 21, 1991, RadarOnline.com can reveal. But her father, Charles, had the key to the steel front door of their home on a small farm in Benoni, South Africa, so they drove to his brother's nearby place to fetch it.

Theron, who badly needed to use the bathroom, rushed inside without stopping to say hello to anyone, including her dad, who was "pretty loaded," she recalled in a raw new interview with The New York Times. "He took that as me being rude." When she and Gerda left, she added, "You could just tell something was different."

Later that night, a terrifying tragedy unfolded as Charles, an alcoholic, arrived home in a drunken rage and fired shots through the bedroom door where Theron and her mom were cowering. Moments later, her father was dead. The Oscar winner has long been candid about her mother killing her father in self-defense.

But revisiting it now, the 50-year-old newly revealed just how deeply that event – and the years of trauma leading up to it – have shaped her life.

Reflecting on her childhood, growing up in a violent country riven by apartheid, South Africa's system of racial segregation, she shared details about a home defined by instability, fear and an ever-present sense that something terrible was coming.

When she and Gerda got home, Theron went into her room and turned the lights off, hiding from her father. "I was scared," she remembered. "My window faced the driveway, and I could tell the level of anger, frustration, or unhappiness by the way he drove in. ... I just knew something bad was going to happen."

What happened next was a living nightmare. "He finally broke into the house. He shot through the steel doors to get in, making it very clear that he was going to kill us," the actress explained.

Authorities did not arrest Gerda or charge her with a crime, determining that the death of her husband of 25 years was justified. But what happened still had far-reaching repercussions. "It really did change our relationship," Charlize shared.

"We were always very close. We felt like a team. But that night changed it because in retrospect, once I got out of the shock of it, I realized that she saved my life."

In the aftermath, there was no time to process what had happened. The next morning, Gerda "picked right up" and "sent me to school," Theron said. The Italian Job star sees now that that approach was "not necessarily the healthiest thing, but it worked for us. ... We didn't have therapists around, so in her head the best therapy was, 'We've got to move on.'"

And they did. Shortly after turning 16, Charlize moved to Italy to model. "It was amazing because it was escape," she told the Times. "The only thing that was hard for me was leaving my mom behind. But she was the one that said, 'Go and make a life for yourself. There's nothing for you here right now.'"

So, the future movie star – who felt "a lot of shame," she admitted – locked away her trauma. "[I] tried to sweep it under the rug because I hated people feeling sorry for me," she explained. "For the first couple of years, for as long as I could, I told this story that he died in a car accident. ... Because I just didn't want pity."

"I felt so equipped," she said, as she chased her dream of becoming a dancer at the Joffrey Ballet School in NYC and, following a career-ending knee injury in her teens, an actress. "I also had this real drive. I was so determined to do this on my own and not to fail, because I didn't want to go back."

But even after finding success in Hollywood – she got her big break in 1996's 2 Days in the Valley and seven years later delivered an Academy Award-winning performance as serial killer Aileen Wuornos in 2003's Monster – she continued to struggle with the idea of being seen as a victim. She finally sought therapy in her 30s.

"She needed tools to process the trauma of what she went through," a source told RadarOnline.com.

Now, nearly 35 years later, she has acknowledged that what happened is a part of her life but not what defines her. "These things should be talked about because it makes other people not feel alone," she said. "I'm not haunted by this stuff anymore."

Yet according to Theron, what affected her most wasn't what happened the night her father was killed, but growing up with an alcoholic whose behavior was so wildly unpredictable. "These things build, and they build, and it takes years for things to go as wrong as it did in my house," she told the Times.

As a result of her chaotic upbringing, Theron learned to take care of herself.

Her resilience hasn't just been emotional – Theron has pushed through physical challenges, too. Over the years, the Dior ambassador has punished her body in grueling action roles, often doing her own stunts and racking up injuries, recently confessing she winds up having surgery after every movie.

After wrapping her latest film, the Netflix survival thriller Apex, out now, she underwent two operations on her elbow. One of her most serious injuries dates back to 2005's Aeon Flux, when she landed on her neck and was left moments away from being paralyzed.

The damage resulted in chronic pain. "I lived my life like that for eight years," she said, adding that she eventually got corrective surgery.

Instead of playing it safe, Theron continues to throw herself into more physically demanding films. It reflects her broader perspective after all she's endured.

"I wasn't going to let anything take away from my life," she said.

"I'm very aware that time runs out really quickly. ... I didn't want to live a safe life because of that. I mean, I'm not a reckless person. I get scared. But if I get to be on my deathbed one day, I want to say I did everything that I really wanted to do."

Finding a man is not on that to-do list. Over the decades, she's had high-profile romances with actors Craig Bierko, 61, Stuart Townsend, 53, Sean Penn, 65, and Third Eye Blind frontman Stephan Jenkins, 61, and has said she's open to love – but only on her terms.

"My life is really good, so you better be able to bring that and maybe better, because I just won't accept anything less," she told talk show host Drew Barrymore.

She doubled down last summer on the Call Her Daddy podcast.

"Who has fking time for dates and shaving and waxing and makeup? And, like, I've got two children that have to go to school," the actress declared, making it clear her kids – Jackson, who she adopted in 2012, and August, who joined the family in 2015 – are her priorities.

She did, however, confess to a brief dalliance with a 26-year-old last year: "It was really fking amazing, and I've never done that."

She knows people see her as a "tough b---h," she told the Times.

"A lot of people think I am very cold because I come across as self-affirmed, like I can take care of myself. I'm sometimes a little brash," she admitted, but in reality, "It's the complete opposite. My kids are so embarrassed by me because I will cry at the drop of a hat."