EXCLUSIVE: Inside Story of Brain Disease-Stricken Billy Joel's Suicide Attempts — And How They Were Sparked by Guilt Over His Affair With Best Pal's Wife
Billy Joel's suicide attempts were fueled by guilt and remorse.
July 6 2025, Published 7:00 a.m. ET
Wracked with guilt and emotional pain for cheating with his best friend's wife, desperate Billy Joel tried to end his agony twice in near-deadly suicide attempts, RadarOnline.com can reveal.
That's the bombshell revelation about the 76-year-old Piano Man singer, now wed to fourth wife Alexis Roderick, 43, in the documentary Billy Joel: And So It Goes – which recalls his anguish and attempt to end it all over destroying the marriage of his best pal Jon Small.
"I was just in love with a woman," recalled Joel, currently battling a brain disorder. "I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker."
The tragic situation began when Joel, 21, and Small formed the band Attila in 1970 and the future superstar roomed with his partner, plus his partner's wife, Elizabeth Weber, and their small child.
Eventual Forgiveness
Jon Small forgave Billy Joel, who twice attempted suicide over the affair with his wife.
Joel and Weber plunged into a passionate affair that destroyed the band and his friendship with Small, and spiraled him into a suicidal depression.
Weber recalled: "Bill and I spent a lot of time together," and their "slow build" passion finally exploded with Joel confessing to Small: "I'm in love with your wife."
She left both of them, and guilt-ridden Joel "had no place to live."
The Piano Man added: "I was sleeping in laundromats, and I was depressed I think to the point of almost being psychotic.
"So, I figured, 'That's it. I don't want to live anymore.' I was just in a lot of pain... so, I just thought I'd end it all."
Joel's sister, a medical assistant, had previously given him sleeping pills to help him doze off, but the devastated Uptown Girl crooner downed them all.
Elizabeth Weber left both men.
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"He was in a coma for days and days and days," she recalled. "He was laying there white as a sheet (in the hospital.) I thought that I'd killed him."
Joel survived but, still guilt-wracked, downed Lemon Pledge furniture polish in a second attempt.
Ironically, he survived because betrayed pal Small rushed him to the hospital.
In 1973, Joel and Weber wed.
She became his manager and they stayed together until divorcing in 1982.
Small and Joel later reconciled.
Small said of Joel's suicide attempts: "He loved me that much... that it killed him to hurt me that much. Eventually, I forgave him."
