Singer Billie Eilish is opening up about her struggle
s with depression, which almost led to her taking her own life in 2018.
In a sit-down interview during The Gayle King Grammy Special on Thursday, January 23, Eilish admitted she was overwhelmed by her sudden fame.
"I was so unhappy last year,” she told King during the interview as the singer's Los Angeles home. “I was so unhappy, and I was so, like, joyless.”
“I don't want to be too dark, but I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to 17," she added .
King brought up the song "Bury a Friend," and asked if the lyrics "I wanna end me" was about Eilish's inner battle.
“Yeah, I think about this one time I was in Berlin and I was alone in my hotel, and I remember there was a window right there," Eilish, now 18, explained. "I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was going to die was, I was going to do it.”
Eilish then admitted to losing friends who couldn't understand her new life.
The singer, who is up for a whopping six grammy nominations, credited her mom, Maggie Baird, for saving her life.
Eilish said Baird got her into therapy, reduced her schedule, and began turning down requests on her behalf.
King pointed out the star "made it to seventeen" thanks to her devoted mom's support.
"I did," replied Eilish.
The show opened up to a tour of the "Bad Guy" singers home. King spoke to her parents and her brother, Finneas O'Connell, 22. O'Connell is up for five Grammy's himself.
Eilish admitted to growing up having to sleep in the same bed as her brother and parents.
Despite her success, Eilish is still living with her family.
"My family's here. My dog is here. And my room is here," she explained.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide PreventionLifeline at 1-800-273-8255.