Kim Cattrall has spoken for the first time about her younger brother’s tragic death.
The actress sat down with the UK Sunday Papers to promote her upcoming film, Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans. During the interview, she revealed her late brother’s cause of death, discussed its effects on her life and career goals, and shared her methods of coping with grief.
“There is a well of sadness in me,” the Sex and the City star, 61, told the publication. “I am not the woman who met you in New York. That was me before this terrible thing happened and this is me after. I am different now and I will never be the same.”
She continued, revealing her brother Christopher Cattrall had taken his own life at age 55 after suffering from a mental illness her family was unaware of.
“No one can prepare you,” she noted. “He was suffering from depression but depression is a curious thing and it can be impossible to detect if someone does not want you to know. And so I didn’t know. We her family didn’t know.”
Cattrall went on, “When you lose someone to suicide there is always the question, ‘If I could only have, if I did only, if I was only…’ and it haunts you. And you have to learn to live with those endless questions, the endless guilt, the endless frustration every day because you are in a new reality and there is nothing you can do to change it.”
The blonde beauty explained that coping with loss is a difficult and ongoing process, but she was able to deal with most of her grief through walking.
In honor of Chris’s death, she lit a candle for him and her late father at St. Cuthbert’s Church in Edinburgh, and had his name written in the prayer book to be remembered by the church every year.
Cattrall admitted that following her brother’s death, people shared their own experiences, enlightening her on how much of an epidemic suicide is. She’s since been in touch with the Campaign Against Living Miserably, the leading movement against male suicide, and quietly supported its installation last year of 84 sculptures of hooded men on top of London’s ITV Tower.
In the aftermath of Chris’ passing, she has a different outlook on life and even in her career.
While Radar previously reported her diva demands are what nixed the SATC reunion, she confirmed that she is now only drawn to work that feels fulfilling.
“I am compelled to work, but now I feel I can only do work that makes me happy,” she said.
She also mentioned she and former co-star Sarah Jessica Parker were never friends and that she was dissatisfied with their wages being significantly less than hers.
When asked about the possibility of ever reuniting, she replied, “Never. It’s a no from me. You learn lessons in life and my lesson is to do work with good people and try and make it fun.”
As readers know, Cattrall’s brother Christopher was found dead just days after he’d gone missing from his Lacombe, Alberta, Canada home. The actress asked for help in finding her brother before receiving the tragic news and asking for her family’s privacy.
SJP sent her condolences via Twitter, but was later called out for trying to portray a clean image. “I don’t need your love and support during this tragic time @sarahjessicaparker,” Cattrall’s post read.
In her caption, she added “You are not my family. You are not my friend. So I’m writing to tell you one last time to stop exploiting our tragedy in order to restore your ‘nice girl’ persona.”