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Natalie Wood's Secret Tell-All Exposed: Tragic Actress Confessed She Felt Completely 'Alone'

Natalie Wood Memoir Podcast
Source: Getty Images

Nov. 15 2018, Updated 1:35 p.m. ET

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Thirty-six years after she mysteriously vanished in an incident that has sparked allegations of murder, Natalie Wood describes the first moment she laid eyes on her future spouse — and eerily foreshadows the doom that romance would bring her!

In a blockbuster world exclusive, the journalists behind the new podcast series "Fatal Voyage: The Mysterious Death of Natalie Wood" reveal they have obtained Natalie's unpublished memoir, passages of which have never before been seen or heard in public!

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The 12-part audio documentary is now available on iTunes — and breaks new ground on Hollywood's most enduring, and tragic, murder mystery, as well provides incredible insight into Natalie Wood, the person.

"I first met R.J. at age 10," the starlet sensationally wrote in the tell-all book of her then-husband-to-be, Robert J. Wagner. "He brushed by me in the studio hallway and never looked back. But I did."

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"I met R.J. again when I was 17, for a brief photo session," Wood noted. "We smiled at each other and if there was any memorable dialogue, it escapes me. But a few weeks later, he called and asked me for a date. On July 20, 1956, on my 18th birthday, he escorted me to the screening of 'The Mountain.' The next morning he sent flowers and a note, promising, 'I'll see you again.'"

In another passage, Wood wrote: "In the movies, the happy ending is still popular. The boy and girl walking, hand in hand, into the sunset. Presumably, they are heading for the altar, but is that the end or the beginning of their problems?"

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The starlet's words are chilling given the grim fate that awaited her.

Wood, 43, and Wagner, along with her Brainstorm co-star Christopher Walken were aboard their yacht, Splendour, off California's Catalina Island on Nov. 28, 1981, when she vanished.

Her body, clad in a nightgown, red jacket and socks, was found hours later in the wee hours of the 29th, floating face down about a mile from the yacht. The L.A. coroner initially ruled Natalie's death an accident by drowning and hypothermia.

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Over the years, Wagner has refused to cooperate with cops — even after the case was reopened 2011. A year later, L.A.'s chief coroner amended Wood's cause of death to "drowning and other undetermined factors."

In February, cops officially named Wagner a "person of interest," noting that he was the last person seen with Wood while she was alive, arguing with her aboard the Splendour.

But the memoir offers more insight into Wood's life, beyond just her romance with Wagner.

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In one incredible passage, the starlet describes her longing for something more tangible than Tinseltown.

"I was surrounded by people, but I felt totally alone," she wrote. "Outwardly, I kept smiling. Inwardly, I wanted to run from the mechanical make believe world where people seemed like mannequins going through the motions on smoothly oiled parts, but never fully living."

In exclusive interviews with Wood's surviving family, as well as Hollywood insiders, "Fatal Voyage" probed the actress' earliest years as a child star — and how her mother, Maria, pushed her relentlessly to fame.

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"I had grown up in the belief that my only worth was in connection with my ability to get parts," wrote Wood in the memoir obtained by the investigative team led by Dylan Howard, the podcast's host. "The universe seemed to hang in the balance when I waited for word of a job."

"When I think my early years," she continued, "it seems as if I spent most of my time auditioning. I was terribly insulated from the world outside the studio."

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"The most important thing in my early years was to win the respect and approval of others. It was only later that I learned that it was equally vital for me to develop self-esteem."

"Fatal Voyage: The Mysterious Death Of Natalie Wood" is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, and wherever podcasts are available! Click here to learn more about the series

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