Emily Fernandez's son JJ tragically died in August — and the Little Women: Atlanta star is still in mourning.
"I feel good some days, not good others," the reality star told RadarOnline.com exclusively. "It's just — the days I choose to suppress my feelings, I act like I'm okay and the days that I choose to talk about it are a little bit harder. But, I do like to talk about it sometimes because it's something I'm not going to ever forget or try to forget. It's just very unstable but I'm getting there."
"The hardest part was when it happened, it didn't air on the TV show initially," she explained. "So people were unaware that he had passed away, and I would be out in public and someone would ask me how he was doing. In the beginning, obviously the second someone said his name I would burst into tears. And it wasn't their fault; they were just being a supportive fan wondering what was going on."
"Until it aired on television it was really hard to even go out in public and have people approach me," she said of her frequent posts asking for prayers.
Fernandez noted that she moved home to Dallas to be closer to her family during the rough time as well, saying: "Being home is a big thing and being able to spend time with family. My son's father especially and his family are really good for my daughter to be around right now. A really good support system is key right now."
"Eva is doing good," she added of her daughter. "She started kindergarten this year so that's been really occupying her mind and she talks about her brother in a very positive light all the time."
She also revealed that despite her move, her former costars have been as supportive as possible.
"This thing — what I've gone through — is something I kept to myself," she told Radar. "There are days I don't really like to talk to anybody. So everyone has been supportive as much as I've allowed them to, but I tend to push people away."
"I'm still not completely okay and healed from this," she concluded. "I'm not just okay in everyday life. I'm still going through the grieving process. There are still a lot of emotional struggles that I'm going through."
Watch Fernandez on Little Women: Dallas, Wednesday, November 2 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.
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