Tori Spelling Sobs On Her Way To Meet Cheating Hubby Dean McDermott To Talk About His Affair: 'I Miss Having My Best Friend … It Was Just Stripped From Me’

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Apr. 22 2014, Updated 2:48 p.m. ET

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Cameras were rolling as Tori Spelling drove to meet cheating husband Dean McDermott for the first time to talk about his affair, and RadarOnline.com has the clip.

Filmed just three weeks ago, Spelling, 40, is in tears while documenting her drive to the therapist where she will approach her philandering hubby about his relationship with Emily Goodhand, whom he slept with while he was in Toronto filming Chopped Canada.

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"I don't know what I'm going to say to him today. I don't know what to expect, to be honest. I know it's gonna be hard, and at the same time I feel really excited to see him," Spelling says about McDermott, 47.

"And I feel like that's the wrong thing to say. I feel like it makes me sound weak. But it's been really hard and I miss him. I miss having my best friend."

Through her tears, Spelling reveals that everything she felt she had with McDermott was just taken from her.

"I miss having that support, that person that's your go-to in life. And that was just stripped from me. I had it for seven years and it was just gone one day," she says.

"And I go on, I go on every single day as best I can. I don't want to cry when I get there, because I don't want him…I want to be strong."

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In a previous preview clip for the couple's new docu-series True Tori, McDermott tells their therapist that his worst nightmare has come true: cheating on his wife.

However, it's not the first time McDermott has fulfilled a nightmare by cheating on his wife — he met Spelling and started an affair with her in 2005 while they filmed the Lifetime TV movie Mind Over Murder together in Ottawa, even though they were both married.

McDermott divorced his then-wife of 13 years, Mary Jo Eustace, in 2006 and married Spelling that same year in Fiji.

To find out everything McDermott has to say about his affair, tune in to the premiere of True Tori tonight on Lifetime at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

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