Jay Leno cracked a few jokes about his rumored reclamation of The Tonight Show chair in his monologue on The Jay Leno Show Wednesday evening, but moved on shortly thereafter.
"Good news from Afghanistan," Leno said. "Critics of the war have stopped referring to it as 'another Vietnam.' They are not calling it that anymore. The bad news -- they're now calling it 'another NBC.'
"Welcome to NBC," Leno continued, "America's most dysfunctional TV family ... and you thought the Gosselins were screwed up!
Leno's closest thing to a shot at Conan O'Brien implied that he got as much of a raw deal from Peacock Network execs with his poorly-received variety show.
"Conan O'Brien, understandable, is very upset.," Leno said. "He had a statement in the paper yesterday. Conan said NBC has only gave him seven months to make his show work. When I heard that ... seven months! How did he get that deal? We only got four! Who's his agent? Get me that guy. I'll take seven!"
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Leno also fired back at Jimmy Kimmel, who did his entire Tuesday show made up to look like Leno, which complemented his spot-on impression.
“I was going to come out dressed as Jimmy Kimmel," Leno said in response. "But I realized I do not have enough black shoe polish here at NBC to get my hair that dark!"