Bill In a Hill-Bama Sandwich

LAUGHING MATTERS Hillary (Photo: Getty Images)

• : Though Hillary Clinton lauds her health care experience, Bill attempts to absorb the criticism for the failed reforms during his Administration. Barack Obama—clever dog—contends, "My understanding is President Clinton's not on the ballot."

• Cuz connection: Turns out Barbara Walters and Paul McCartney-lovebird Nancy Shevell are second cousins. The View grandma makes a power move for the Thanksgiving dinner exclusive.

• Needs a pooper-scooper: Ellen DeGeneres is skewered after crossing picket lines, as a former creative scribe for the show says the talk-show host treated them "like shit" on the set.

• Unhappy ending: The New Orleans prostitute who often played host to Sen. David Vitter gives a revealing interview to Hustler: $300 a visit. No lotions or perfumes. You know, the usual.

• Reunited: Graydon Carter throws a bone to former Spy mate Kurt Andersen in the form of a one-year Vanity Fair contract to turn out two big articles. There's an obligatory mention of Andersen's "Studio 360," the only radio program that makes "Fresh Air" seem lively and energizing.

• Step right up: Michael Mukasey was confirmed to fill some particularly small shoes as the country's next attorney general.

• Busted: Highly indictable Rudy Giuliani associate Bernard Kerik indicted on 8 million charges of corruption, a number which would almost certainly have been higher had the grand jury not run out of paper.