No One Owns Fergie!

NO SELL OUT? Fergie

• Sour Candie's: Fergie and clothing line Candie's say her affiliation with the company is limited to appearing in marketing campaigns and does not include product placement in songs.

• Sham slam: Sir Elton John wins a court case forcing a Parisian art dealer to take back the fake statues sold to the pop star in 1996 and reimburse him.

• Young lush: Alabama police chase a drunken driver at 100 mph for more than eight miles only to discover the boozy driver in question is an 11-year-old girl.

• Seriously, Stavros, wrong number!: New phones can come with someone else's old phone number, as experienced by college student Shira Barlow, who inherited Paris Hilton's former digits. (Advice: Beware ear infection.)

• Dead Earth: By the creative calculating of naysayers, Al Gore's Live Earth Concerts will produce more carbon dioxide in a day than Afghanistan did in 2006.

• Model mayhem: Instead of traveling to Siberia, the Elite model scouts visit the riot-prone African and Arab suburbs of Paris to seek models with more street cred.